Pills
by kitkat681
Summary: Pills are the only thing keeping Bella from an institution after Edward left. She is functioning, but with the mind of a child. Now he is back and she has no idea who he is. How far will he go to bring back the girl he loves?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: So I sat down to write chapter 13 of 'Silent Auction' and this came poring out. It has not been through the hands of my beta, so any mistakes are mine. I have no idea when it will update, but let me know if you want more!

EPOV

Damn this rain. Always raining in this town named after cutlery. This was the last place I wanted to be. I had spent 18 months running, being a coward. I had told Alice not to look after her, but I was weak. I wanted to see that she was as broken as I was. But the problem was, she wasn't. She was still living her life as if I never existed, just as I wanted.

How could she not feel this pain? I know I had fractured her heart, just as I had done the same to mine. She wandered the forest for hours after I told her the most vicious of lies. How she believed me, I will never know. My heart was breaking along with hers as I spouted that filth. I could not exist without her. I am a shell of what I once was. What I had not known was that I had always been a shell. It was only when she came into my life did it have any meaning. And in my reckless attempt at keeping her safe, it seems I had only hurt myself.

BPOV

Pills, pills, pills. I am beginning to hate these pills. I can't even remember what I take these for. Charlie says that is the reason I need the pills. I can't seem to remember anything but these pills.

Yellow

Blue

Green

Another Blue

Pink

White

I get flashes of my life before pills. At school everyone gives me a wide berth. Angela Weber is my only friend. She tries to tell me about my life before pills, but it is all very vague. I had more friends before, but they are gone. I feel the aching loss, knowing that there is something missing.

It really feels like everyone is hiding something from me. Charlie says that paranoia is a side effect from one of the blue pills. Every couple of weeks they will add a new pill. I have tried to figure out the reasons for why they change it up, but the only thing I notice is that Charlie looks really bad before it happens. He looks tired, and .... old. Then I get a new pill, and a week later Charlie is back to his old self, for a while.

I have tried to keep a journal so when I want to remember something I can write it down. After the new pill gets added, I can't find my journal. Charlie says forgetfulness is a side effect from the yellow pill.

I really hate these pills.

CharliePOV

"Good night Bella." I yell as she goes up the stairs after dinner.

I have two more hours till it starts. I can only hope that this new dosage will help. Jane says that it is only a matter of time till we find a regimen that works. After 18 months of daily phone calls, she insisted I call her Jane and not Dr. Miller. After we found Bella in the woods, catatonic and nearly frozen, Jane was my only hope. Renee came up and discussed institutionalizing Bella, but I could not do that to my little girl. I knew she just needed time to find her way out of the fog. Jane agreed, and we started with the pills.

At the beginning, we had to re-teach Bella everything. She knew who I was, and who Renee was, but that was about it. She had no idea how to do anything, from simple math to driving a car. She did however remember how to cook. Thank God for that, cause I was useless.

I will never forget her screams from the bathroom the first time she got her period after she 'woke up.' She thought she was bleeding to death and I thought I would die of embarrassment. None of us though to explain that to her before.

She went back to school after a few weeks of being home. She was in remedial classes, having to learn everything over again. The only friend she had left was Angela Weber. She would tell Bella a little bit about what her life was like before, and tried to help her re-acclimate to life in high school. We never told Bella what the pills were for, and she just accepted it. She was as trusting as a child, and I hated it. I wanted my feisty little girl back. Who made fun of me when I got mac and cheese stuck in my mustache and complain when I brought trout home for dinner again. Now she just sat there, like a mannequin. She was medicated out of her mind, but it was the only way she would be able to function.

There were so many things she was clueless about.

Until she slept.

Everything came back to her when she was asleep. The screams, his name, the terror. The first time it happened, a week after I brought her home from the hospital, I ran into her room with my service revolver. It sounded like someone was killing her. She was thrashing on the bed, screams tearing from her lungs.

"Edward, no come back. I'll change. It won't happen again. Please?" She wailed.

I held her as her tears subsided, and mine started. I felt so useless, there was nothing I could do to help her. He had left her, the whole family packed up and moved in the middle of the night. Something about a new job in Los Angeles.

It would take her an hour to calm down go back to sleep. I would stand there and watch her curl back up, looking so peaceful. I thanked God every day that she had no memory of these events. She would wake up thinking she had a peaceful sleep. I would wake up nauseous and dreading the night.

When the nightmares were lasting 2-3 hours each night, Jane suggested we change medication. She was taking enough sedatives to take down a horse, but after a few weeks the dreams returned. We would switch medications again and again. Hoping that one of these combinations would help. After each switch I would have to go though her room and take her journal. I would never read them, just put them in a box in the attic. She would ask about it the next day, and I would tell her that she was mistaken and memory loss was a side effect from one of the pills

I had just started to doze on the couch when her I heard her cries. I jumped off the couch and took the stairs two at a time. I heard running feet as I got to her door, opening it to find she was having one of her worst dreams. In these she would try and run after him, and I would just have to sit by and watch as she ran circles around her room. She would yell his name and beg his forgiveness. Tears would run down her pale cheeks as she bounced off of the furniture, not feeling the pain. There would be bruises I would have to make up excuses for in the morning, and twice before she had broken a toe.

As I sat on the bed watching her suffering, tears running down my cheeks as well, I imagined every possible way to kill him.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter 2

EPOV

I sat outside her bedroom window for hours, hoping to hear her say my name in her sleep, like she used to. I had never heard anything as beautiful as her sighing my name while firmly encased in her dreams. I wanted more than anything to know that at least her subconscious still wanted me.

I was soothed by the sound of her steady heartbeat. I had spent countless nights composing music to the beat of her heart. Her lullaby was running in a constant loop through my mind, the worst form of torture. I hated that I had ever asked Alice to look in on Bella.

~~*~~

"No Edward! You told her we were leaving. You made me leave her, my best friend. She loved and accepted what we were, and you turned her away. I will not do this." Alice stated, firmly.

"Alice, please I just need to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. I can't go on like this. If she is even missing me slightly, we will return. I ..... I can't live without her anymore." I pleaded.

"Fine Edward! But I am telling you, she loved you more than life, so just start packing." She said.

With that, her eyes grew glassy. I was looking through her thoughts as she searched for Bella's future. When Bella's face finally appeared, I could not hold back a whimper. She was still as breathtaking as always. Her face was thinner and her eyes were slightly unfocused, but she was still my angel. I had been expecting to find her moping through classes, looking towards the lunch table my family and I always occupied. I would have never imagined she would be laughing with Angela Weber in the cafeteria. She was fine.

As Alice's vision ended, I could see a tall blonde boy making his way over to Bella, and she smiled down at the table, blushing.

I could not take anymore. I ran out the door into the cold Alaskan night and heaved into the snow. She was fine. She did not miss me. I hated her.

~~*~~

Alice tried for days to keep me from going. She said she could not see what would happen, there were still too many variables. But there was nothing that could keep me from her. If she still did not want me, if she had indeed gotten over me, she could tell me to my face.

So that is why I am hiding in the woods outside her father's home, listening to her sleep. Silently begging that I hear she still at least dreams of me.

The steady beat of her heart started to accelerate, signaling she was dreaming. I was not expecting the sudden jump in the second heartbeat on the first floor. Charlie. What was he doing that would cause that, I wondered. I did not have long to ponder that, because the screaming started a second later. I jumped up into the tree outside her bedroom window, debating if I should go in. She sounded like she was in pain, agonizing pain. It went against everything I ever felt to keep my distance. My beautiful angel was in pain.

I could hear Charlie's heavy footfalls on the steps, thankful that someone would be there to sooth her. Her screams morphed into words, and with them, I fell out of the tree.

"Edward, please. No God no. Don't leave me. I'll change. It did not matter. Please." She wailed.

My soul was crumbling listening to her. How could she be so normal at school and still deal with this agony at night. It was with morbid enjoyment that I listened to her cries. That is the way I have felt for the last 18 months. At least now I can come back into her life and know that I am wanted. She would want me. I would have to fight my way back in, but I would come back. I had too, for both of us.

BPOV

Another day, another bunch of pills. I was still trying to figure out where my journal went to. Charlie says he has never seen me use a journal, but I remember writing down that yes I do use a journal in .... my journal. He just keeps reminding me that forgetfulness is a side effect from one of my pills. Yellow or blue, not sure. I can't remember.

School was getting easier. I don't understand how I can remember how to get to all my classes, but can't remember if I write in a journal. I hate having to take pills at school. Going to the nurses office, feeling like a loser as I wait for her to unlock the pill cabinet and take out my colorful drugs. I think the other kids think I have ADD or something. I always get the jitters after I take my pills. You would think they could condense these pills into one, so I am not having to take so many each day. But maybe they did, and I just can't remember.

I was finally getting to move into some of the regular classes. Once I had started re-learning some of these things, it all just came flooding back. Charlie still will not tell me what caused my memory loss, and I really feel like he is keeping things from me sometimes. But he says that paranoia is a side effect from one of my pills.

English is one of the classes I can take with the rest of my class. I am a senior this year, graduating a year behind when I should be. My friend Angela stayed back a year to help me. I have no idea why she would do something like that. Her boyfriend Ben went to Seattle for college, and she stayed here with me. She goes with me to all my classes, and says something about getting college credit in her psychology classes. I have no idea what she means, but I don't want to embarrass myself to ask her.

I hate lunch. I never have an appetite anymore. Charlie says it is a side effect from one of my pills. I always feel like everyone is staring at me. Angela says it is all in my imagination, but I can feel it. Like they all know something about me. Wish they would tell me, at least then I would know something about me.

I am rubbing my wrist, like I always do when I am nervous. I have a scar on my wrist, Charlie said I got bit by a dog. I know he is lying. It makes me feel better when I touch it, I wish I knew why.

I heard Angela gasp and push her chair away from the table. She was walking towards the front of the cafeteria, but I did not have the energy to look up. I was so exhausted. Charlie said I slept great every night, but I woke up feeling like I had not slept at all. Charlie says it is a side effect from the pills.

I could hear Angela's raised voice, and with that I did make the effort to raise my head. She never raised her voice, she was always calm. I could see her arguing with a tall boy outside in the hallway. All I could see was a messy mop of ..... hair. Sometimes I still have trouble remembering the name of colors. I hated that.

"I need to see her, please." Said a beautifully melodic voice.

"No, you need to leave before I call Charlie. You have no idea what you have done. I can't do this here. She will get upset. Please just go." Angela said, I could hear tears fighting their way through.

Angela cried a lot when she talked to Ben on the phone. She tried to hide it from me, but I knew it was because she was here with me and not with him. I wish I could understand why she stayed with me.

The boy with the messy hair started past Angela, even though she tried to stop him. She ran past him to stand in front of me. I just looked past her, trying to understand why she did not want him to see me. He was tall and pale, his hair standing all over. I never really looked at people anymore, except Angela, Charlie and Dr. Miller. People make me nervous. It was odd that I could look at him and not feel uncomfortable.

His eyes were ..... black. I remember that color. Black and haunted. Why did he feel that way?

"Bella?" He said as he got closer.

"Yes," I answered.

"I'm sorry. I just had to see you." He said in a quiet voice.

"Ok," I answered.

"Do you want to see me?" He questioned.

"She does not know you anymore." Angela answered, trying to get between me and him.

"What do you mean she does not know me!" He demanded, growing agitated.

"It's gone, it's all gone." She said softly. She pulled on his shirt sleeve and ushered him out of the room. He hesitated, looking at me like he expected a response. I was tired again, and lowered my eyes back to the table, rubbing my wrist.

They disappeared out into the hall again and I could hear their heated argument. I tried to pick at my lunch, but I just was not hungry. I know Charlie had Angela keeping an eye on what I ate, so I put the apple and chips into my bag, hoping she would think I ate them.

I hoped Angela got back soon, the bell would be ringing. I hated walking to class by myself. People always tried to avoid me. I wondered what was wrong with me. I could see nothing in the mirror that would cause their behavior. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

"No, no." I heard the boy yelling from the hallway. I really hoped he was not going to hurt Angela. I picked up my bag and Angela's and started to the door. Charlie had tried to teach me basic self defense, saying something about being vulnerable. I could not let Angela get hurt, she and Charlie were all I had.

As I walked through the door I saw the boy kneeling down in front of Angela. What was he doing? He looked like he was in pain. Maybe I should get the nurse.

"Should I get the nurse?" I asked.

His head jerked up at the sound of my voice and I was shocked to see the agony etched on his face.

"Bella, please. You know me, don't you?" He begged.

"Angela, we are going to be late for class. Please let's go." I asked. I had found that if I did not know the answer to a question it was better to just avoid it.

The moaning cry coming from the boy surprised me. Something deep in my chest clenched at the sound and I was stunned to find I wanted to go to him and comfort him. I started rubbing my wrist harder, and it calmed me as always.

Angela turned to me and took her bag. She looked back at the boy with sympathy before pulling me down the hall towards my math class. I glanced over my shoulder at the boy and found him staring back at me, sobbing tearlessly. He stood and was gone in an instant and I wondered if I had imagined him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

EPOV

Oh God, the crippling pain would not end. It had been constant since I heard Angela Weber utter the horrible truth of what my brutal lies had done. I had caused this. My once beautiful angel was now a specter of the girl she once was.

~~*~~

Seeing her from across the cafeteria, I should have known instantly that something was horribly different. I could hear her. I had never been graced with her soft thoughts in my mind, as much as I often wished I could know what she was thinking. Now they were here, in my mind.

_Yellow, blue, pink, white…. Missing something. Another blue one. Stupid pills._

Who was this? Where was my intelligent girl who could quote Shakespeare and Bronte? Her eyes were glassy, unfocused as she stared down at the table. The warm brown I had stared into countless times were muted and vacant.

Angela looked up and saw me, her gasp loud in my sensitive ears. She bolted out of her chair and stalked towards me, trying to block my view of Bella. I could hear Bella's thoughts reaching me.

_Where is Angela going? She looks so sad with Ben gone. I hate it when she cries. _

_Who is that? Messy hair._

Did she not recognize me? What had happened? I did not have to wonder for long, Angela quickly launched into a tirade.

"What do you think you are doing here? You left her, you can't just come back now. You have no idea what is going on. Just leave, she is better off without you." She ranted, trying to be quiet so as not to attract attention.

"I need to see her. If she does not want me, she can tell me to my face. I can't be away from her any longer." I said, as I quietly sidestepped her and walked back into the cafeteria.

She ran ahead of me and again shielded Bella from me. Bella would not be dissuaded and leaned around her to see me. The blank look in her eyes was agonizing. She had no idea who I was. What had happened to cause this? I uttered something, which she responded to, but I could not recall what we said. I was drifting, nothing made sense.

Angela grabbed my sleeve and pulled me out into the hall again. I was in such shock, this waif of a girl toted me easily. I could not keep the questions inside any longer.

"What happened?" I demanded. Had she hit her head and lost her memory? Knowing my clumsy angel, that would have been possible.

Angela sighed and rubbed her temple. "After Bella was found in the woods, she was unresponsive. It lasted for months. Charlie and Renee finally had her hospitalized. Renee wanted to put her in an institution, because none of the treatments they tried were working. She was just gone.

Charlie could not stand to see that happen to Bella. Having someone change her diapers and feeding her through a tube. He found a doctor who thought she could help with intense drug therapy. They started her on a regimen of pills and within a few months, she started to come back. But it was not really her. She was like a child. We had to teach her everything all over again."

"Charlie was a constant fixture at my father's church and we talked a lot. When Bella started to improve, I offered to help her. I was supposed to go to Seattle with Ben for college, but I worked out an internship through the psychiatric program at the hospital. I am documenting Bella's recovery for a paper her doctor is working on. Bella is the first person this type of treatment has worked for." She finished sadly.

"You mean she has no memory? Remembers nothing?" In my mind I knew this was a good thing. She was not feeling the horrible loneliness as I was because she could not remember. But in my heart I only wanted to go to her and show her how amazing our love had been.

"No Edward, she remembers nothing. Renee left after Charlie refused to commit her and has not come back. She deserted her and we did not have the heart to tell her. It is easier for us to omit the things that would be painful. She is just now able to be back in regular classes. Once she started to learn some things, it just came flowing back."

"But I heard her last night. I could hear her calling my name while she slept. I thought that she still wanted me, that is why I came today." I protested.

Angela paled, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. "She has horrible nightmares. They are always about you and when you left. She hurts herself sometimes, sleepwalking, trying to run after you. They tried adjusting her medication, but they keep coming back. I don't know how Charlie deals with it."

"No, no!" I mourned, dropping to my knees. Even though she has no memory of me, I am still causing her pain.

I could hear her shuffling foot steps approach, her sweet voice sounding in my mind.

_Hate walking to class alone. Hope Angela is ready to go. _

_Oh no, is he hurt? Maybe I should get the nurse._

"Should I get the nurse?" She asked, her voice sweet and childlike.

I looked up into her face, praying that there would be a spark of recognition. "Bella, please. You know me, don't you?"

_Charlie always says it is better to ignore a question if you don't know the answer._

"Angela, we are going to be late to class. Please let's go." She said, shuffling her feet.

I could not keep the emotions from pouring out. My angel, my only love has forgotten me. This is what I wanted, for it to be as if I never existed. Why is it killing me now?

_Oh, poor boy. _

Angela got her bag from Bella and led her down the hall. I was staring after them, bawling without tears. She looked back at me, and I could not stand to see her empty eyes. I got up and ran as fast as I could away from the worst mistake I had ever made.

BPOV

I have a meeting with Dr. Miller today. She likes to keep track of me, making sure I am taking all my pills. I wish I could stop taking some of them. I don't feel like I am really here. Sometimes everything is blurry. I can't remember what day it is or what the weather should be like. I really think that if I could just stop taking some of these pills, I might feel more normal. Angela tells me that normal is overrated, but she has never lived in a broken mind like mine. I have a broken mind and that is why she left. I am not sure who 'she' is, but she calls a lot to talk to Charlie. I asked him about her, but he just said I misunderstood. That is a side effect of one of the pills, the pink one.

With all these side effects I am surprised I can still walk. Every time I ask a question, Charlie or Dr. Miller or Angela just blows me off. I can hear the kids at school talking about me. Something happened and now I am not right. Some girls in the bathroom said that I jumped off a cliff and almost drowned. I can't imagine I did that. The old men at the diner said I was attacked by wolves and had brain damage. I feel damaged, but don't think that is true either.

Dr. Miller is nice, but she only ever wants to talk about the pills. She gets so excited that they are working, but will never tell me what they are supposed to be doing. I want her to say "the blue one is for this, and the yellow one for that," but she doesn't. She only reminds me that I need to take them all and never skip a dose. I am tempted to see what would happen is I skipped one. Would I grow fangs and want to drink blood? I think I may be watching too many movies.

After the appointment, Charlie and I go to the Safeway. The kitchen was bare this morning and I really liked to cook, since that is the one thing I remember how to do. I push the cart while Charlie throws crap into it. I go behind him and take out the Twinkies and grab granola bars instead. He is such a kid sometimes.

I run right into his heels when he suddenly stopped in the middle of the aisle. He started shaking and his hand was on his hip, resting on his gun. I had no idea what was happening. He was blocking my entire view, keeping me behind him.

"What are you doing here?" He said, eerily quiet.

"I need to see her." A voice responded. It was familiar, but I did not know from where.

"You and your family have no idea what you have done. You can't see her. Just go away." He said, with a tremor in his voice. He sounded like Angela did when she was trying not to cry, but that can't be right. Charlie does not cry.

"Chief Swan, please. I think I may be able to help her. I have done research on this type of thing and…" The voice said, but was cut off by a furious Charlie.

"Research? You have done research on this kind of thing? I am living it! I had to see my beautiful daughter retreat further and further into her own mind. I was the one who had to decide if we should commit her when she was catatonic. I am the one who has to hold her after she has been screaming _his_ name for hours at night. So you can just take your research and shove it up your ass. Get the hell away from us."

Oh wow! I don't understand half of the things he said, but he sure is pissed. Charlie comes back next to me and starts to push the cart down the aisle. The person he was talking to is still standing there. As we pass I look back at him. He is beautiful. His hair is the color of my yellow pill and his eyes are black. Where have I seen eyes like that? Oh well, can't remember. Stupid side effects.

He looks sad, and I wonder why Charlie would get so angry. Did he want to see me? Why? I try and remember to ask Charlie once we get back to the house. We check out and put the bags in the car. Charlie has not said anything since he yelled at the man. I just keep reciting the questions I want to ask him over and over. I am hoping they will still be in my mind when we get home.

Charlie parks the car and I help bring in the food. He finally speaks, asks what I wanted to make for dinner and I tell him fried chicken. And just like that, all my questions are gone. I know they were there, it is like they just got pushed out of my brain.

I make dinner while Charlie sits at the table reading the paper. I can tell he would rather be in watching TV, but he does not like to leave me alone anymore. As I set the table and get us drinks, Charlie gets down my nighttime pill container. I really hate these pills. He dumps them out and watches as I arrange them by size on my napkin. This is one of the only things I can remember from day to day, the order of my pills. It goes, yellow, blue, green, blue, pink, white. Always in that same order. But something is wrong tonight. The white one, which is always the biggest, is not the biggest. It fits between the green and blue one tonight. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I don't remember what the order is. Maybe they changed them on me again.

After dinner I go up into my room and work on my homework. We are reading _Wuthering Heights _in my English class. Charlie gave me an old copy of it, telling me it was mine. I don't remember ever reading it before, but I take it anyway. I laid down on my bed with the book and page through it. An amazing smell wafts out from the pages, and I am frozen. I remember that smell. It goes with someone. Someone I ….. ? I don't know. I'm frustrated that I can't remember and set the book down on my nightstand and roll over. I was so tired that when I heard a noise at the window I could not open my eyes to see what it was.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not Mine

A/N: This chapter is for Sarah, who keeps encouraging me to update through her reviews. Thanks!!

Chapter 4

EPOV

I did not stop running until I was back at our Forks house. The entire family came back when Alice told them what I was planning. They thought we would be coming back to start again when Bella and I reunited. Now I was ecstatic they were here. I needed to talk to Carlisle. He still had privileges at the hospital, he could get Bella's medical records. I needed to find out what had happened, and if there was anything we could do to reverse it.

I could hear Alice apologizing from somewhere in the woods. She had been worried about my reaction to her holding back information from me. She should not have been worried. If she had told me what had happened to Bella, I would never have believed her. Never in my worst nightmares would I think that something like this could happen to my beautiful angel.

Alice must have told Carlisle what had happened because he was pouring over medical books when I busted into his study.

"What is going on Carlisle? How could something like this have happened?" I demanded.

"Calm down Edward. I have already put a call into a friend of mine at the local hospital and at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle where Bella was treated. They will be sending her records by courier this afternoon." He said, putting a calming hand on my shoulder.

"She is gone Carlisle. Just gone. It is like there is a ghost living in her body." I whispered.

"Edward, I will do all I can to try and find a solution. But you must accept that we may not be able to bring her back son."

A dam inside me broke and I dropped to my knees, sobbing. "I can't go on, knowing I caused this. You have to promise me that if we can't get her back, you will let me go."

"No Edward, I can't do that." He sighed.

"You must! I can't live like this, without her. Knowing that her body is still out there, but what made her her is gone." I yelled.

"All right Edward. We will discuss this if we need to. For now let's do all we can to try and find out if we can get her back."

We spent the next three hours looking over cases similar to Bella's. The courier delivered her medical record's and we were able to get a better idea of what we were dealing with. Every doctor that she saw said she had suffered a psychotic break. There were dictation notes from the doctor who saw her when she was first admitted. It was agonizing to see how bad she had been. She was completely catatonic for 2 months. There was serious talk about admitting her to an institution. That is when the records stopped. There was one last note in the file that said they were refusing further treatment and she was now under the care of a Dr. Jane Miller.

There was not much information about Dr. Miller available. The only information we were able to find was in reference to Bella's case. I asked Jasper to do some further searching. He was very good at hacking into 'secure' sites. After a few minutes, Jasper came back with some startling news.

"She does not exist." He said, as he carried a stack of papers into the room.

"What do you mean? She has to exist, she is treating Bella." I demanded, reaching for the paperwork.

"The only information I can find about a Jane Miller is that she was an nurse who worked at Toronto Psychiatric Hospital up until 2 years ago. She was dismissed after she started to tamper with patients medications." He said, summarizing the information he had printed out.

"She is not a doctor?" I said, unable to wrap my brain around this information.

"No, she is posing as a doctor. She is renting office space in a building in Port Angeles. She is advertizing in the Starbucks down the street from Harborview Medical Center. She guarantees she can cure any psychiatric disorder." Jasper said.

I was speechless. How could Charlie fall for this quack? Even Angela had believed she was a real doctor. What were they thinking leaving Bella in her unqualified hands?

"What can we do? Is there someone we can report her to?" I asked Carlisle.

"The only problem with that is if she suddenly stops treating Bella, there is a big chance that she would relapse. We should try and wean her off the medication. Although, I have to tell you Edward, there is a big chance that we will never be able to get the real Bella back. She may stay this way." Carlisle warned.

There was no decision for me. I had to get Bella away from this pseudo-doctor and into more capable hands. I asked Carlisle if he would approach Charlie and see if he would be willing to let him start treating Bella. I knew this was a long shot. From what Angela told me, Charlie was dealing with Bella's daily nightmares about me, and he would not be excited to see that any member of my family was back in town.

"I'll try Edward, but I would not get your hopes up." He said.

I paced the floor waiting for Carlisle to return. Alice was able to see Charlie and Bella in the grocery store and thought it would be a safe place for an encounter. She was unable to see the outcome of the meeting. I kept my mind on Alice and her visions, and felt my heart sink when I saw how the meeting ended. I hated seeing the vacant look in Bella's eyes.

When Carlisle returned, we formulated a plan. I was going to break into the Swan's house and write down a list of all of Bella's medication. Carlisle would do some research and we would try and slowly eliminate some of the drugs she was taking. I was praying that it would work and I would have the patience to wait.

BPOV

I woke up and actually felt rested. This was the first time in... I can't remember how long. But for once, I feel like my memory loss might not be a side effect from one of the pills. I just have not slept well in so long that it is hard to remember a time when I was not tired when I woke. My head is not as fuzzy and I think I can actually recall what day of the week it is. I jump out of bed and headed to the bathroom to shower. My freesia body wash smelled amazing this morning, as if I was smelling it for the first time. I can find no reason for this change, but I am not going to question it. The whole world feels different.

Finished getting ready, I headed down to make breakfast for Charlie. It is a ….. Wednesday, which means Angela will be here soon to pick me up for school. I put bread in to toast and got started on the scrambled eggs. Charlie came into the kitchen and grabed my pills from the cabinet. He dumped them out on my napkin as I ploped his plate down in front of him. I sat with my own plate and spread the pills out, arraigning them by size. It has been 2 weeks since I noticed the change in the order of my pills, but I had never said anything to Charlie or Dr. Miller about it. I had slowly felt a change, and I felt better. I did not want to jinx it and have them turn me back into a zombie.

Today the order of pills had changed again. The yellow pill is much larger then it had been. There is no writing on it either, where it used to have some numbers on it. I was quick to swallow them, making sure Charlie watched me. Now that I was not in a fog all the time, I was noticing the way he was always watching me. It was as if he was waiting for me to freak out or something. He did look better now, not as tired. I wanted to ask him about it, but I was worried. I always had something to worry about now.

There was a nagging feeling in the center of my chest all the time now, like I was forgetting something important. It was physically painful, and I found myself holding my arms across my chest, trying to keep myself from tearing apart. The pain was worse when I would see a flash of a silver car when we were driving. The first time that happened I lunged across Charlie to get a better look at the car. When I realized I had no idea what I was hoping to see, I returned to my seat. Charlie was gaping at me, his mouth hanging open.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my cheeks fiery.

"Ugh, nothing. What were you looking at?" He said, his voice gruff.

"Who knows?" I said, trying to play it off. I am not sure he bought it, but really I had no idea what interest I had in a silver car. I could just _feel_ that it was important.

Things were odd at school as well. Now that I was not stuck in my own world, I could hear what the other kids were saying about me. I guess they had seen me as a doll for so long, they did not bother to hide what they were talking about.

"Oh man, she is still staring at that table like she expects them to come through the door."

"It is so sad, she barely looks like herself anymore."

"I heard at night you can hear her screams from 2 blocks away."

I started a new journal, hiding it in my closet so it would not get lost. I would write all those conversations down when I got home. I was hoping one day to have enough information to piece together what I was like before….. whatever happened. So far all I had was that I was a lot different then I used to be. After 'someone' left I was not in school for a long time. When I came back I looked and acted different. It also seemed that whatever happened in my house at night was pretty entertaining. I still felt like I was no closer to figuring out what was going on.

I had a meeting with Dr. Miller after school and was hoping she would let something slip about the changes in my pills. If she did not talk about it, I was not going to bring it up. As always, all she talked about was the pills. She did not bother to hide the fact that she was recording our conversation and I wondered how long that had been going on. She barely looked at me, her nose was stuffed in her laptop, furiously typing something. I looked around as she typed, noticing the bare walls and stark furnishings. Charlie likes to watch TV dramas at night and I knew on those shows, doctor's walls were usually plastered with frames and papers. I wondered why she had nothing on her's? Another thing to note in my journal.

As we left her office, Charlie drove towards the police station, saying he had to run in for a second. He offered to let me come in, but I had brought my copy of 'Wuthering Heights' with me. I felt a deeper connection to the book now that I was not so fuzzy. The smell of the pages being turned eased the aching hole in my chest. I rolled down the window as I settled in to wait. I had just started to immerse myself in the world of Catherine and Heathcliff, when the wind shifted, blowing a hauntingly familiar scent my way and I was overwhelmed with memories.

_My body draped across a strong, cold back as the trees rushed by. _

_Watching a baseball soar through the air as thunder boomed._

_Golden eyes and messy bronze hair poised above my wrist as I was writhing in burning pain._

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me." Horribly painful words pouring from a beautiful mouth._

And then nothing. I was back in the car with the book lying open and forgotten in my lap. I looked around, trying desperately to find the source of the smell that held such a strong tie to my hidden memories. Nothing was there. I was surprised when I felt moisture dropping on my hands. I had not even realized I had been crying. Reaching down to the floor to find a tissue, my fingers landed on an envelope. The paper was thick and elegant, as was the script of the front that held my name. I wanted to open it then and there, but knew Charlie could be back at any minute. I shoved it into my book bag just in time as Charlie's door swung open. Noticing my tears, he looked me over.

"What's wrong?"

I hesitated, knowing if he knew memories were breaking through, we would be back in Dr. Miller's office in a second.

"Nothing. This book gets me every time." I said lamely, brushing the last of the tears from my cheeks.

He gave me a small smile as he started the car and headed back home. I looked out the window and tried to relax, but it was impossible knowing that there was an envelope in my bag that could possibly unlock my past.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Not Mine

A/N: Sorry this is short, but I wanted to save all the action for one chapter, so you have that to look forward to next week! Thanks again to those of you who are reading and the wonderful few who review. Please make sure to sign in so I can reply to your review!

Pills Chapter 5

EPOV

I could see a difference in her. It was subtle, but it was there. I had spent every possible second of the past 3 weeks watching her. She never knew I was there, but I was. I watched as she slept, sneaking in through her window and sitting by her bed. The nightmares had all but stopped. The worst it was now, was a quiet whimper, but it was quieted when I rested my hand on her forehead and spoke into her ear.

"I'm here Bella. I love you." I said, over and over as she slept.

It was true. I was here and I did love her. I had never stopped loving her. I just thought in my 100 years of life, I knew more. That she would be safer not having my family and I around. I assumed that she would be better off without having to deal with all of the horrible things my kind would bring her. She had already been attacked by James and by Jasper. How much should she be expected to take? She would never put herself first, so I had to. And by pushing her away, I had sentenced us both to a living nightmare.

Carlisle was optimistic that the changes we had seen in Bella were going to be permanent. I had switched two of her prescriptions with placebos that Carlisle had made. There were approximately the same color and size as the ones she had been taking. We did not want to alert Charlie to our deception. I know Charlie was thankful that the nightmares had stopped. He was even able to sleep through the night again. I made sure he never knew that I was there every night with Bella. After 18 months apart, I could not stand to be apart from her any more than I had to.

My siblings toyed with the idea of returning to school in the area, but decided to travel to Seattle and start College instead. Alice was not going, preferring to stay with me and 'stalk' Bella every day. She had been hiding her visions from me for a while, choosing instead to think about how best to arrange the Vogue fashion closet. I had no idea what that meant, but she was doing a very thorough job of disguising her thoughts. She was very cryptic when I asked her what was going on. I could only hope she would have a vision while in my presence, which would allow me to experience them for myself.

Thursday morning dawned bright and sunny, setting my nerves on edge. I would not be able to follow Bella to school today. There would be no watching Bella through Angela's thoughts while I waited in my car. Alice was vibrating with tension as the day went on. Her thoughts had gotten more and more confusing. Now she was just going through every different alphabet she knew. The second time through it in Greek I could not take it anymore.

"What Alice? What is going on that you don't want me to know about?" I demanded, slamming my fist down on Esme's coffee table.

"I'm sorry Edward. I have been searching for days trying to find a good outcome. There is no way that this can end anyway but badly." She admitted, hanging her head in defeat.

"Let me see Alice. Show me what is going to happen and maybe we can work together to try and find a solution." I suggested.

Her vision flashed through my mind, causing me to drop to my knees in agony.

_Laurent stalking towards Bella in our meadow._

_Him demanding to know where my family went._

_Bella admitting she had no idea what he was talking about. _

_Laurent going into a rage and charging her. _

_Her last words as his teeth pierced her jugular:_

"_Edward"_

"Alice... what is that. Why can we not just go and intercept him before he gets to her?" I demanded.

"The Quileutes have started to phase back into wolves since we settled here. They will destroy Laurent after he kills Bella. If we are anywhere near the meadow when they find him, they will kill us as well." She said quietly, as if explaining something to a child.

"Why not stop Bella from going to the meadow. How does she even find it?" I asked, defeat starting to color my voice.

"She had a dream about it. She thinks she can recapture her lost memories there. She is starting to realize that there are some large chunks of her life that are gone." Alice explained.

"Is this my fault? If we had never come back and started to change her medication would she have lived?" I whispered.

"No Edward, I think she was always meant to find the meadow. Even if we never returned, she was always meant to remember you." Alice said sweetly, as if knowing this would make me feel better.

I flew at her without thinking. My hands wrapped around her throat as I forced her tiny body into the wall behind her. "Do you think that makes it better? Do you think I feel better knowing that this was always how it was meant to end? What do you see for me? What is my end?" I yelled, fighting the waves of calm I felt as Jasper ran into the room.

"Stop Edward. You know that I have been searching for days trying to find an outcome that will work. I can't find anything. She is going to die today." She whispered as she started to sob. I always forgot that Bella was Alice's best friend and she had been having to watch her die over and over in her visions.

I released her and we both dropped to the floor. I wrapped her tiny shaking frame into my arms as we grieved for the girl we both loved.

BPOV

Another wonderful morning. The sun was shining and I had a great night sleep. My dreams were never frightening anymore, although they did leave a gaping hole in my chest when I woke and found I was alone. I was not sure who I expected to be with me, but I knew I was upset they were not there. The dreams were getting more vivid. It felt like I had been in the flower covered meadow that infested my subconscious. I could see a gleaming shape across the field, rainbow facets shining in the sunlight. I knew I needed to get closer to that shape, but it was as if there was a glass wall blocking me from going forward. The pain in my chest increased as I saw the shape moving away from me, into the woods. I would call out, trying to get it to stop. At that point I would feel cool fingers on my forehead and soothing words mumbled in my ear. I would wake, expecting to see ... someone, but finding myself alone.

School was getting much better. I had been able to re-join my peers in all of my classes. Angela kidded that pretty soon I was not going to need her anymore. It was true, the only thing she did anymore was help me with my math homework, which according to Charlie, I always had a hard time with. I was able to pay attention to the other kids at school, and had even befriended two girls who I shared most of my classes with. Maggie and Bree were juniors, 3 years younger then I was. They did not seem to be bothered by the rumors and gossip that surrounded me. We all sat together at lunch and worked on homework during study hall. It was nice to have someone else to talk to, other than Angela and Charlie.

As the weeks went on, my pills had not changed again. The white and yellow were still different and I kept waiting to see if something else would change. The only new side effect I noticed was an obsession with everything cold. I craved the feeling of the cold water streaming over me in the shower, even though my teeth would be chattering when I was finished. I left my window wide open, hoping the cool spring breeze would fill my room. I would leave one hand in the freezer until I could not stand it anymore and then hold my hands together. The feeling of my cold hand meeting my warm one was electric, and I would feel a contentment in my belly.

I had described the meadow to Charlie, hoping he would be able to tell me if I had ever been there. He had no idea where it could be, and discouraged me from trying to find it.

"The woods are not safe Bells. Please don't go out there." He would say forcefully, grabbing my arms and shaking me roughly.

"Ok Charlie, I won't go into the woods. What, are you afraid of the big bad wolf?" I teased, hoping to break the awkward moment.

He chuckled, running his hand over his moustache, the universal signal for uncomfortable. I never asked him about the meadow again, but could not get it out of my mind.

I had a scheduled visit to Dr. Miller, but Charlie had to work a double shift and was unable to take me. Angela said she would be glad to drive me, wanting to have Ben meet her in Port Angeles so they could have lunch. Unfortunately, her car broke down on her way to pick me up and I had to call Dr. Miller and cancel. She said it was fine, just to (wait for it) keep taking my pills. Faced with a free afternoon, I could not keep my feet from walking out the door and into the woods behind my house. The meadow was calling to me, and I knew if I just listened, I would be able to find it.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not Mine

A/N: Yes, yes I know. Epic fail on my part. I had this chapter done, but really wanted to add some more to it. Life has been killing me and I never got to add the stuff I wanted, but I really wanted to get this out to the few of you who are reading it. I thank you so much for sticking with me and I promise I will try to stick with my Tuesday updating schedule!

Pills Chapter 6

BPOV

It was easier than I thought it would be to make my way to the hidden meadow. It looked just way it had in my dreams, and I was thankful I had found it. The wild flowers were in full bloom making the field look like a swaying rainbow. The sun was high in the sky, warming my face.

I sat amongst the flowers, pulling the still sealed envelope from my bag. I had tried to open it the night I found it, but it felt wrong. I knew I would only really get the answers I was looking for if I opened it in this place. Charlie would not be home until late, so I had plenty of time to take in the beauty around me. I slowly slid my finger under the flap to loosen it. I would have never even noticed the other person in the field had a bee not decided to dive-bomb my head. As I swatted it away, my eyes fell upon the intruder. He was tall, standing at the far end of the meadow in the shadows of the trees. I quickly moved to my feet, fear making me clumsy.

"Can I help you?" I yelled, shoving the envelope into my pocket as I tried to keep the tremor out of my voice.

"No need to yell darling, I can hear you just fine." He said, his voice deep and smooth.

"Well if you can hear me, why don't you answer my question." I said bravely.

I blinked and he was standing in front of me. I closed my eyes as they were assaulted by thousands of glimmering crystals. I opened them to find that the sparkling was radiating from the stranger's exposed skin. I gasped and he laughed.

"I would have thought our abnormality would not surprise you anymore. Have the Cullens been gone so long you have forgotten?"

Cullens? What was he talking about? He was looking at me oddly and I racked my brain, trying to see if hidden somewhere was the answer he was looking for.

EPOV

"Alice, what is happening? Are you sure there is nothing I can do?" I moaned, pacing the grass in front of out house. I had timed the distance to the meadow from the house. I could make it there in under a minute if I had to.

"I don't know Edward. It is still the same. Nothing has changed. If you go out there you will die as well." She said, getting frustrated with me that I keep asking the same thing over and over.

"I am starting to think that it would be preferable to die with her than to live this life without her." I breathed. It was truly torture that I could not be with her, trying to save her.

The time dragged, the grass under my feet was getting trampled as I paced. Suddenly Alice gasped, dropping to the ground and holding her head with both hands.

"Go Edward, hurry. Go to her." She whispered.

She did not have to tell me twice. I was flying through the trees, running faster than I ever had before. I had been too preoccupied with worry to listen in on Alice's vision. I was going in blind, not knowing what I would find. I burst through the trees, into the field as Laurent approached Bella.

BPOV

"How long have they been gone?" The stranger asked me, cocking his head to the side like a dog.

"Um, I'm sorry. How long has who been gone?" I asked.

"The Cullens silly girl. I went past their house but it was closed up. They must have been gone for a while." He replied, pulling at the scarf he had wrapped around his neck. I was still getting distracted by the rainbows reflecting off his skin.

"Um, I'm not sure. I have not really kept up on the comings and goings of the people around here." I replied truthfully. I figured that he was talking about a family that lived around here.

"Victoria sent me." He said bluntly. His friendly facade was dropped, leaving him glaring at me.

"Ok." I said, not knowing how else to reply. Who the hell was Victoria?

"She wanted me to lure you away from the Cullens and bring you to her. She wanted her revenge for what your mate did to James. But I had no idea I would be able to get to you so easily." He said, moving forward toward me. He closed his hand around my throat. His skin was freezing, causing chills to run through my body.

"Where has your poor Edward gone?" He breathed into my ear.

My vision wavered. Edward. I know that name, it means something to me. My mate, what was he talking about?

"Victoria wanted me to bring you back to her. She had some really nasty things planned for you. But I don't think I will do that. I think I will just keep you here for myself." He said, his mouth moving down along my throat.

Oh, Edward. I remember Edward. He was my life, my love. Where was he?

I could feel the stranger's mouth leaving wet openmouthed kisses along my pulse point. The revulsion made me tremble, which he mistook as fear.

"Ah yes little girl, they always taste better when they are scared. Should I make you run? You will never get away, but it would be fun for me." He laughed, talking to himself. "Yes, go. Run. I'll come and catch you."

He suddenly released me, and I willed my feet to stay firm as I started to run across the field.

EPOV

She was running away from him. I had heard the entire conversation and saw the brief look that passed over her face when he talked about me. She remembered me.

I was moving towards her as quickly as I could in the shadow of the trees. I did not want to make my presence known to Laurent if I did not have to. I still had no idea what Alice saw but I knew I had to get to Bella. She was nearly to the cover of the trees when Laurent launched himself at her. A streaking blur of fur collided with him in mid air, and the streak and Laurent crashed down into the field. It was one of the Quileute wolves. I had no idea how many were lurking in the trees, but I had to get to Bella.

I reached her just as she entered the woods. She was covered in petals and grass, her breathing erratic. As I got closer I could smell the salt from her sweat and tears. I was petrified to see what her reaction would be to my presence, but I had waited far too long.

"Bella?" I whispered as I approached her.

Her head jerked up, tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Edward?" She breathed as she dropped to her knees.

My long dead heart felt like it had started again as she looked up at me, recognition in her eyes. I slowly moved over to her, lowering into a crouch as I get closer.

"Oh beautiful girl. How I have missed you." I said, slowly bringing her trembling body into my arms.

BPOV

I must be dreaming. One second I am being chased by a demented monster who wants to kill me and the next I am being wrapped into the arms of my long lost love. I knew it was Edward the moment he called my name. How stupid I was to think that I could have forgotten the sound of his voice. His face was beautiful, but the memories I had of him were still fuzzy. I did know that his black eyes were wrong, they should be golden.

"Edward, what is going on?" I whispered into his chest. He smelled like home, cool and warm all at the same time.

"I'm not sure, but I know one thing. Now that we are together again, I will never leave you." He said as the sounds of screams and snarls ripped through the meadow.

A/N: So I hope it was worth the wait! Please leave me your thoughts, they really make my day!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Not mine

**A/N: Wow, an update on a scheduled update day! I know right! **

Pills Chapter 7

?POV

I had never run so fast before in my life. The feeling of the chase was unlike anything I had ever felt. Sure we had all played around, but we had never had any motivation to really let loose. Now we had the motivation. The leech ahead of us was vaulting from tree to tree trying to escape. He was only making himself dizzy, cause it was not bothering us at all. I could smell his scent from miles away, although I could also smell the bloodsucker that was still back in the field. He though he had gotten past us without us knowing. What a dumbass. Just cause we could not see him did not mean we did not know he was there. We all knew he was back with the girl, but he was not running. We were after the one who was.

It was only a matter of time before we caught up to him. I could hear Sam telling me to circle back and make sure that we kept track of the girl and the other vamp. I was pissed. I really wanted to get myself a piece of the cocky bloodsucker who though he could just waltz into our territory and hurt innocent people. I was forced to follow the Alpha's orders, so I turned around and sped back to the unlikely couple who were huddled together in the cover of the trees.

It really sucked that all of our thoughts were linked when we were in wolf form. I had heard things about my brothers that I had never really wanted to know. But there were times when it was really useful. This was one of those times. As I approached the pair, I could hear Jacob's voice in my head, growling fiercely, because as soon as my eyes landed on the human girl, he recognized her.

_It__s Bella. And that fucking piece of shit Cullen. What is he doing back here?_

We all knew about Bella and what had happened after her vampire boyfriend had left her alone in the woods. Sam's thoughts of her lying catatonic in the dirt haunted each of us, and Jacob was rightly furious to see that he had returned. But I could not pay attention to Jacob's ranting or I would never be able to do my job and make sure that these two stayed put. I quickly phased before I came into their sight and threw on the shorts I had strapped to my ankle before approaching them.

"Hey. If you could just do me a favor and stay put for a bit, that would be great. We should have the other parasite under control in a few. Thanks!" I yelled before turning on my heel and phasing mid-jump. I loved the way it felt when my shorts ripped off my body as it turned into its true wolf form. My paws were flying over the dirt as I tried to catch up to my brothers. I could hear the metallic screeching of teeth ripping through the impenetrable skin of the vampire, and knew that I would not make it back to be a part of the action.

There were pieces of the leech scattered all over the ground as I entered the clearing. Sam and Embry had phased into human form to start a fire so we could completely dispose of the monster. I could hear Jacob's annoyingly loud thoughts as soon as he realized I had returned.

_Did he say why he was back? Was he touching her? Does she remember him?_

His lips were pulled back in a snarl as he pawed at the ground, no doubt imagining Cullen's face in place of the dirt.

_He was touching her. She did seem to remember him. I did not stay long enough to find out why he had returned._

I quickly broadcasted my thoughts to him, hoping that he would be able to control his anger and not go running back to them and rip him limb from limb. If Cullen was back, we needed to let Bella make the decision as to whether she wanted him to stay or not.

BOPV

He was back. And I remembered him. Everything about him. I could not bring myself to let him go. I had my face crushing into his chest, greedily taking in his scent. They say that the sense of smell is the sense most tied to memory. I had never really experienced it, but I could now say that it was true. As I breathed in his smell of basil, lime and evergreen, I could remember ever moment I had spent with Edward.

I finally pulled my nose from his cool stone chest and raised my eyes to his face. He was looking down at me, his golden eyes rimmed in onyx. I did not realize I had been holding my breath until I swayed in his arms, my lungs burning. His face morphed into his crooked smile that I remembered so well and my heart beat against my sternum so hard I was sure it would be bruised.

"You came back." I whispered.

"I had to." He replied in the same quite tone.

"What took you so long?"

He looked broken as he debated what to say. "I asked Alice not to look for you. I had hoped that by now you would have moved on, found someone like _Newton_ to love." He sneered. "But I was weak. I could not help myself and I asked Alice to check on you. When I saw you, a shell of the beautiful and intelligent girl you once were, I new I could not stay away any longer."

"So you only came back because I was broken?" I said, my voice betraying my anger. He had not returned because he missed me, wanted me. He only came back because he felt guilty for what had happened to me when he left.

"No Bella, you misunderstand me. I knew that I had to come back and try and fix what I had done. I could not be sure that you would even want me back when you could remember what had happened. I only knew that I had to try and bring back the girl who loved me." He pleaded, dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around my hips. I could feel his cool breath against my abdomen, and even in my anger my body responded to him. Arousal I had not felt in months warmed my belly and my heart stuttered in my chest. I could feel his smile against my skin and was furious that he could tell how he was affecting me.

"Stop it, just stop." I pleaded as I pulled myself from his embrace. "Were you the one who was changing my pills?" I demanded.

"Yes. Carlisle helped me research what kind of drugs they were giving you. We hoped that you had recovered enough to be able to function without all the medication. _Dr. Miller_ would never have weaned you off the drugs, they were too important to her study." He said cryptically. How did he know about Dr. Miller?

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Dr. Miller is not even a doctor. I have no idea how Charlie let you get involved with such a quack. She has no background to be able to prescribe you the kinds of drugs she was. They had horrible side effects, and Carlisle found some major interactions from mixing the ones she had. If we had not stopped them when we did, you could have suffered long term liver and heart damage." He said, clawing at the dirt in his anger.

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of thumping feet and snarls. I forgot my anger and launched myself at Edward, knowing he would protect me above all else. A bare-chested giant appeared from the trees.

"Hey. If you could just do me a favor and stay put for a bit, that would be great. We should have the other parasite under control in a few. Thanks!" He said quickly before returning back into the trees.

I pulled myself from Edward's embrace, knowing that if I allowed myself to continue touching him I would not have the strength to push for the answers I needed.

**A/N: So who do you think was the unknown POV?? I would love to hear your thoughts.** **Going to start to put subliminal messages in here to review. Please, it is the nice thing to do. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Not mine

**A/N: What is this? An update? Yes, yes I know I am total fail. But I wanted you all to know that I am not abandoning this story. My other story Silent Auction is wrapping up and then I will be completing this story! I can't promise any timetable on updates, I just answer when Bella and Edward (and Jacob) call. Hope you enjoy!**

JacobPOV

Gonna kill him. That's it, I am gonna kill him. I am beyond furious. They left. _He_ left her in the woods alone and I can't even imagine what could have happened to her had Sam not found her when he did. Now he is back and _we _have to deal with this leech while_ he_ is back getting all friendly with Bella. I knew I had to settle down before I got distracted and let this bloodsucker get the drop on me. I would survive an attack, but it would piss me off even more.

I had not seen Bella in over a year. After Sam found her in the woods, Charlie would not let me come over anymore. Before her 'accident,' Bella and I had been friends, and while I never understood my dad's hatred of her boyfriend, I listened to him when he told me to keep my distance from them. When Charlie called our house almost in tears when Bella had gone missing in the woods, my dad was angry. He said he warned Bella about hanging around with 'those people' and now she was paying for it. He would not tell me anything more, told me that it would all become clear in time. I was so sick of the cryptic messages and warnings. I confronted Sam after he carried Bella out of the forest and he looked down at me, telling me I only had a few more weeks until everything would become clear. After my change, he was the first person I looked for and I beat the shit out of him for lying to me for so long.

I could not lie and say that I was not happy to hear that Bella had forgotten everything about her life before _Cullen_ left her in the woods. I did not think that he had told her about our kind, but I could only imagine the backlash that would happen if Bella started spouting off stuff about vampires and werewolves. It was better that she was left in the dark about who exactly was in her past, but it was still hard to watch. Charlie had not come out to the rez since Bella went all crazy. I had seen him sometimes when I was in town, and he looked terrible. I had heard Bella's screams at night when we patrolled the woods around her house. When the Cullens left, they forgot to clean up their mess. Now we have to deal with this leech and try and track down the red-headed bitch who continued to elude us.

I was pulled from my reverie by a snarling coming from my left. Embry was getting restless. That surprised me, usually it was Paul who was itching to start something. Sam pawed the ground, the signal for us to attack. It did not take long for us to dismember the vamp. I only got one good swipe in, but managed to rip his leg from his body. Quil phased so he could start a fire and we quickly threw all of the pieces of the once powerful vampire into the blaze. Thick purple smoke rose into the sky and the squealing sound of vampire flesh burning sounded throughout the forest.

I turned, ready to head back and confront Bella and the leech, but was stopped as Sam's voice blared in my mind.

"Jacob, you can't go back there. You are too angry. Give them some time and then we can send a message to let them know we want to meet."

I hated that he was right. I hated the fact that because my alpha told me to stay away, there was no way that I could defy him. I huffed and turned around and headed back to the rez to wait.

BPOV

He was here and I remembered everything. I could smell him, and knew that the slight scent that wafted from the pages of my favorite book, was his. I could feel him, and knew that the reason I preferred to have freezing cold things next to me, was because of his icy skin. I had no idea how I could have forgotten him and how much he meant to me. But as I remembered him, I also remembered him leaving me. A painful hole opened in my chest, causing me to cry out as my body curled in on itself. His arms dropped immediately as he pulled back to look me over, no doubt thinking that he had hurt me.

"What is it Bella? Where are you hurt?" He demanded as he ran his hands over my arms, searching for injuries.

"You left." I managed to breathe out as the painful chasm in my chest got larger.

His eyes flew wide as his expression morphed into a mirror of mine, absolute pain.

"I did." He said, as he griped tightly to my arms.

"You left me in the woods. Alone." I said quietly as another wave of agony rushed over me.

"I did not leave you alone. I watched until Sam found you." He said quietly as his golden eyes became darker.

"You watched me? You watched me chase after you, tripping and falling? Skinning my hands and knees as I tried to catch up to you, to show you that we were meant to be together?" I all but screamed. His hands tensed on my arms and his eyes turned flat black.

"Yes, I watched you. I wanted to make sure that you were safe." He whispered. I could tell that it caused him pain to remember how I traipsed through the woods, tears pouring down my cheeks as I tried to find him.

"Why did you leave?" I demanded, feeling those same traitorous tears burning in my eyes.

"I had to. It was not safe for you to be around us. You are our natural prey, and it was only a matter of time until something happened again, like it did at your birthday." He said, his hands tightening painfully on my arms as he remembered how Jasper had nearly attacked me at my birthday celebration.

"So you took it upon yourself to decide what was best for me? Did you not realize that I would have done anything for you? I would have become one of you in a second if you had asked me." I said, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks as his words sunk in. He had abandoned me, left me in a world of darkness all because he thought his family was too dangerous.

"I would never want you to become part of my world. You are an angel, I would never want you to become a monster." He said, shaking me slightly.

"I was never good enough for you, that is what it all comes down to. You left because of the way Jasper acted because I was too clumsy and injured myself. And now, the only reason you are back is because you felt guilty that I went all crazy when you left. Do you know how bad it was for me? I can remember it all. Living in darkness, unable to speak while Charlie cried all the time. The nightmares of you leaving me alone in the forest and waking up screaming every night. All of the pills and doctors and having to re-learn everything all over again. Was it worth it? Was I safe enough for you?" I cried as I started to hyperventilate. Edward tugged me down to the ground, setting me in his lap as he pushed my head between my knees. I could just barely hear him sobbing over the harsh sound of my breaths.

"Do you think this is what I wanted? I never left my room, I never hunted when I was away from you. My family was ready to just put me out of my misery. But I finally broke down and asked Alice to check on you, and what do I find? You were happy, laughing about something with Mike Newton. And I was furious. I wanted you to be suffering just as much as I was. So I came back. I was going to come into your room and make _you _send me away this time, because I wanted you back. But when I got here and saw what I had done, I knew I had made a mistake. I could not have known how deep your love was for me Bella." He said, his voice thick with emotion.

"Oh of course you could not Edward, you never believed me. And now it is too late." I whispered, my voice emotionless.

"Too late?" He breathed. I struggled in his arms, trying to pull myself away. He slowly released me and I stood, dusting the leaves and dirt off of my clothes.

"Yes Edward, it is too late. I don't think I can forgive you for what you have done, not only to me but to both our families. I thought of your siblings as my own, and Esme and Carlisle as surrogate parents. You took them all from me when you left. And poor Charlie. I think you should go now." I said, as tears filled my eyes once again.

"How will you get home?" He whispered.

"I made it out here on my own, I can make it back. If not, I can always go and find those giant wolves. I think at this point I would rather take my chances with them than be with you." I said, as I steeled myself and this time, walked away from him.

**A/N: Come on, you know by now I am a HEA kinda girl, and no she will not end up with Jacob. Hopefully I will see you soon! Review and tell me you still love me ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: OH MY GOD! I can't believe tomorrow is a year since I last updated this story. It was not like I was sitting on my ass doing nothing. I finished 'Silent Auction' started and finished 'Darkness and Light' wrote a smutty two shot 'Choices' and started 'The Cottage.' I also gave birth to my 4****th**** daughter in March. Busy lady! So please forgive me for deserting this for so long. You all have Edward's Eternal to thank for this update since she started reading and reviewing and made me want to finish it. So thanks Melanie, this is for you.**

**Recap: (Since I needed to go back and see what was happening anyway)**

**Bella was accosted by Laurent in the meadow. Edward ran to save her but the wolves got to Laurent first. Bella remembers everything and is PISSED! Jake wants to give Edward a piece of his mind but Sam told him not to. Is Jake going to listen to his Alpha? What is going on with Dr. Miller? **

**BPOV**

Oh my God, oh my God. What have I done? He was back, and he regretted ever leaving me and he wanted me back. Why did I just walk away from him? How could I be so stupid? And now I am traipsing through the woods, completely disoriented and have no idea how I am getting home. I could be snuggling with Edward right now! But no, if I had let him off that easy things would never change. The next time something happened, he would think it would be ok to lie to me and drag me away thinking it would be for my own good instead of telling me about things and letting me decide for myself! No, this really was the only way. Who knows, maybe he will come to his senses and….. Oh my God… what is that?

The giant mass of fur and teeth slithered through the trees and shrubs, its approach nearly soundless. Its giant brown eyes were trained on me, the enormous wolf-like head bowed low to the ground. I backed up immediately, worried that it would pursue me as it did Laurent, but when my back hit the tree behind me, I realized that I had no where to go. A low whine emerged from the animal's muzzle as it cocked its head to the side. The creature looked surprised that I seemed frightened of it. Um, hello did I not just watch you chase an invincible vampire through the woods? Of course I would be petrified.

I could hear the sounds only a vampire could make as it sped across the moss and leaf covered ground. Before I could blink, Edward stood in front of me his body poised to strike at the monster. The animal lowered his head to the ground and growled low in his throat, Edward's body wrapped around me as he pushed me further into the tree.

"Jacob stop this." Edward said quietly.

"Wait…Jacob?" I yelled as I tried to push past Edward, which was about as feasible as moving a brick wall. Instead I just craned my head to the side so I could see past his shoulders. The air around the beast shimmered as the fur started to disappear, leaving in its wake warm brown skin. Edward noticed me watching and shifted his body so all I could see was his back. I heard a bone crunching splinter before Edward spoke again.

"Put some clothes on please." He growled and in response I heard a very familiar laugh. I put my hands on Edward's shoulder and jumped up, catching glimpses of my former best friend's hair and blinding smile. When he deemed it safe, Edward moved away and I saw standing in the place of the wolf, Jacob dressed in ratty cutoff jean shorts.

"What…how…when?" I stammered as I tried to process the fact that he was some kind of shape shifting wolf.

"Try to keep your brain cells together Bells. Ever since your frigid freaks here moved into the area, my people have started to have some interesting changes." He explained as he ran his hand through his long dark hair.

"So, you're a wolf?" I asked quietly.

"Um, yeah that would be the quickest explanation." He said with a chuckle as Edward curled his arm around me in response to something in Jake's thoughts. With the movement, Jake took a step forward, his eyes glued to the possessive arm around me.

"You think you have a claim on her? You left her here alone. If it were not for us she would be dead right now." Jake seethed as Edward pulled me against his body. I could feel the tension radiating around us in the air and knew things would escalate quickly if I could not get them under control soon.

"Stop this. Jake, I know things have been weird since I was all catatonic and everything, but Edward helped to fix the pills they were shoving at me. That is the reason I am back to normal. If he had not come back I would still be one step away from the nut house. And Edward…I need some time to think. I understand why you thought it was ok to leave when you did, but it was not ok. You took all of my choices away and left me broken with only Charlie to put me back together. I am just now back to myself and I need to be alone." I said, my body finally starting to feel the stress and drama I had been through. I turned and walked into the trees, leaving the two people I loved more than anything staring after me.

**EPOV**

She…left. After months of being alone, she walked away, taking my heart with her. I could hear Jacob thinking the same thing, but where my soul felt like it was being crushed, his was rejoicing.

_Maybe I have a chance now. She is never going to forgive him for leaving her._

"Jacob, do you think you could save your celebration for later?" I hissed before sprinting after Bella. Just because she asked for time did not mean I was going to give it to her. I needed to make sure she made it back home safe and sound. I had heard Laurent talking about Victoria and her need for revenge for my actions against James. Bella was still in danger, and I was not going to let anything happen to her.

_Edward…you need to come home. Alice needs you._

I heard Jasper seconds after I watched Bella walk safely into her back door. Ever since she had regained her memory, I was unable to hear her thoughts. As much as I was ecstatic to have her back with me, I was sad to not be able to see into her thoughts, even as broken as they had been. With a sigh I turned away from Bella's and sprinted through the trees towards our house. I was surprised that Laurent had told Bella the house was deserted, we had been back for months. The problem with eternal beings was that our sense of time was skewed. It was possible he had checked out the house anytime in the last year while we were still away. I was going to have to send Emmett and Jasper out to scout the area to see if they were able to catch Victoria's trail, but first I needed to deal with whatever drama Alice had foreseen.

**A/N: So I am not going to give you an update date right now…but it will be within the next two weeks. Thanks so much for sticking it out and I look forward to seeing your thoughts on this chapter and what might Alice have seen.**


	10. Chapter 10

**What is this…An update? Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I promised I would not flounce on this story again, and I am trying my hardest to stick to my word. Interesting things ahead for our pair, I hope you like what is coming! **

EPOV

The second I hit the driveway I was bombarded with thoughts. Esme and Carlisle were worried about how Bella had reacted to seeing me again. Jasper and Emmett were wondering how the fight went between Laurent and the wolves. Rosalie was thinking about changing her nail polish. But it was Alice's thoughts that I was most concerned with. She floated into a vision just as I burst through the front door.

_Bella was entering Dr. Miller's office for a check-up. Charlie had insisted on bringing her in for a visit after he found her acting strange when he got home from his shift. He had driven her but was waiting in the coffee shop across the street. Bella was going to play dumb and act like she was still having memory loss. The moment Bella entered the room and looked up at Dr. Miller, she knew…Dr. Jane Miller was a vampire._

"Jasper…how did we miss this in all of the research we did?" I yelled as soon as Alice's vision cleared. It was impossible. There was no way we could have missed the fact that she was a vampire. What the hell was a vampire doing pretending to be a doctor?

"Edward…I swear, everything I found about her led me to believe she was human…a crazy human posing as a doctor but a human none the less. I never thought about actually going to see her." Jasper said. Carlisle had brought down all of the information we had about Dr. Miller, including a photo.

"That's not who I saw in Alice's vision, but I can't be sure if this is the same person Bella has always been seeing. Maybe you should talk to Charlie again Carlisle." I suggested, but I could already see him shaking his head.

"He will never believe me Edward. He still thinks we are to blame for Bella's breakdown…which we rightfully are. I know if I try to talk to him again it will only end badly and we will never be able to win him over." Carlisle said as he uncharacteristically flopped down in a chair with a dejected sigh. Rose and Esme came into the room and sat down at the table, grabbing some of the documents Carlisle had retrieved.

"What could this Jane woman possible gain by keeping Bella drugged up?" Rose wondered as she stared down at the information. Just as I realized why Jane was interested in Bella, Alice was hit with another vision…except this one had a much better outcome. I was quickly on my feet and out the door, leaving Alice to explain what was happening.

BPOV

I was exhausted by the time I finally made it back home. I knew that Edward had followed me the entire way through the woods. For a supernatural being, he sure was stupid sometimes. Whenever he was around, all of the wildlife was suddenly silent, as if knowing there was a predator in their midst. So as I moved through the trees and the squirrels and birds and chipmunks suddenly stopped their chirping, I knew he was with me. As much as I wanted to spin around and scream at him to leave me alone, I was grateful that he was keeping his promise to stay by my side, until I ordered him away.

I trudged through the back door, locking it behind me. Although I was dead on my feet, the call of my bed would need to go unheeded for a while, at least until I was able to find something to eat. When I opened the cabinet door, the first thing I found was my pill container. I held it in my hand, shaking it from side to side, listening to those little magic pills bounce against each other. How had Carlisle been able to bring me back when Dr. Miller had worked for months without any success? I put the plastic container back on the shelf and instead grabbed a box of strawberry Poptarts and devoured them along with a glass of milk. With heavy feet and an even heavier heart I trudged up the stairs and collapsed in my bed. My eyes were drooping and it felt like thousands of tiny grains of sand were rubbing under my eyelids as I tried to stay awake. Just as I started to drift I heard the unforgettable sound of my window sliding open. I turned my head towards the sound and saw Edward jumping through the opening. My traitorous heart flipped in my chest as I watched him stride towards me, his scent preceding him and making me light headed.

Edward sat down next to me, his hand automatically stroking though my hair. I moaned as his cool fingers soothed my frazzled brain. I knew I should be asking him to leave, telling him I needed more time to process the fact that my friend was a werewolf and the love of my life, who I thought had deserted me, had in fact returned weeks ago and had somehow managed to pull me from my near catatonic state. Instead I rolled onto my back, hooking my arms around his shoulders and pulling him down next to me. His frigid skin felt amazing against my own hot flesh and I wanted to sink inside of him and be safe until everything had blown over. Childishly I wondered if I could somehow close my eyes and wait until everything was right again. I wanted to take up where Edward and I had left off and see how far I could push my 107 year old virgin. With that thought in my head, I pressed my lips to the frozen skin of his throat and was able to both hear and feel the moan rip from his chest. I pushed against his chest until he was flat on his back, my body half on top of his. I could feel his arousal pressing against my thigh and it took all of my willpower not to rub against him. His fingers tightened in my hair as he threw his head back, leaving the long line of his throat vulnerable to my attack. His entire body trembled as I ran the sharp edge of my teeth along his granite skin and I felt just a prick of pain as he pulled my hair tighter. In the back of my mind I knew that this was the wrong thing to be doing, but it felt like I had been underwater for the last 20 months and was just now, in Edward's arms, able to breathe again. I felt Edward tense below me moments before I heard someone chuckling quietly from the still open window. I yanked my head up from where it had been savaging Edward's neck and was instantly on my feet and flying towards the girl who had jumped lithely through the window.

"Oh Alice, I missed you so much!" I gushed as I careened into her chest. She held me to her as tightly as she dared and I knew if she had been able to, she would have been crying. She pushed me back and looked into my eyes.

"I would have never agreed to leave if I knew what would happen." She said fiercely, and I knew she was telling the truth. I also knew that Edward felt the same way. I had been able to feel the regret and pain pouring off of him ever since I looked at him in the meadow. I nodded my head as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I know that Alice, I do. Now, why are you here interrupting my fun times?" I asked, cocking a hand on my hip as I tried to intimidate a vampire that could crush my skull with two fingers if she so desired. Alice laughed quietly as she tossed a glance to Edward who was still sprawled out on my bed. I hoped the evidence of his excitement had diminished by now. It was embarrassing enough to be caught by your sister making out, sporting a woody was even worse.

"We need to take a trip Bella. Pack your passport."

**A/N: Where are they going? What was Alice's vision?**

**Next update…two weeks or so…maybe sooner.**

**Did you catch my shout out to two of my favorite authors in this chapter? Complete accident and I did not even notice until I did a final edit.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: OMG – what is this? An early update? Why yes my loyal readers, I finished this one last weekend and decided it would only be mean to keep it from you. The chapters are getting a bit shorter, but funnier…so tradeoff maybe? **

**I can't tell you when the next update will be – next Friday…two weeks. Yeah somewhere within that timeline. If you are looking for something else to read (Self-pimping alert) I published a new story called 'The Bakery.' It was a one shot that I am expanding on. Lots of violence and drama- not for the faint of heart. It will update tomorrow.**

**I love you all…and your reviews, so if you want to send me some reviews…yeah I would love that!**

**BPOV**

"No Alice, absolutely not. We can not steal a car." Edward ranted as Alice used lock picks to try and get into the ostentatious yellow Porsche. We had landed in Italy an hour earlier, thankfully just as the sun set. I thought it would have been easier to just take a taxi to Volterra, but apparently none of the drivers wanted to go that far at night. _Yeah…wonder why. _Hence Alice's idea of breaking into the first car she saw, which happened to be the super fast sports car. While I trusted Alice implicitly, I was not looking forward to spending the trip crammed into the nearly non-existent back seat.

"Ha success!" Alice whispered as she tugged the door open and with the speed only a vampire possessed, dismantled the alarm system. She smiled as she pushed the front seat up and ushered me inside. Edward frowned as he got in the passenger seat and Alice hotwired the car before he had fastened his seatbelt. We sped through the Italian countryside as Edward and Alice did that frustrating silent conversation thing the entire way. It went like this:

"No." Edward said out of nowhere.

Silence

"Nope, that won't work either." Edward replied.

Silence

"Sorry, try again." Edward sighed, getting frustrated with Alice's attempts to figure a way out of whatever predicament we were heading into.

Silence

Finally I couldn't take anymore and popped my head up between the two seats.

"Um, can you two please shut the hell up? I hate it when you do that." I growled before thumping back on the seat. Edward turned around as much as the small car would allow and raised his eyebrow at me.

"You sure are demanding aren't you my little lamb." He smirked as he reached a hand back to tuck my hair behind my ear. As usual, our newly rediscovered connection dazzled me and I smiled back.

"I just want to be included in the decisions. You still haven't explained why we are even here except that we need to see the Volturi." I sighed as he cradled my jaw. I should really be keeping him at arms length since I had not forgiven him for leaving me to crack into a million pieces, but he was so damn cute sometimes. I could see him debating whether or not to tell me what they were planning, but Alice decided for him.

"We need to speak to Aro about when you are going to be changed." She chirped before jerking the wheel to the right and jumping from the vehicle. I found myself suddenly alone in the car. Edward was chasing Alice through the fields that backed up to the road. They looked like stars streaking through the high grass as they sped across the dirt, their skin reflecting the faint moonlight. I slowly pushed the driver's seat up and stepped onto the gravel on the side of the road, leaning against the car as I waited for them to finish their foolishness. Finally Edward managed to snag the back of Alice's shirt and she stopped because God forbid she ruined vintage Dior. He threw her over his shoulder and ran to my side, tossing her unceremoniously into the back. He turned to me and grabbed my face before kissing me so fiercely I thought my lips would burst under the pressure.

"He won't have you." He breathed as he pulled away. I shook my head to clear the lust induced cobwebs.

"Who won't have me?" I asked, staring up into his dark eyes. He smiled down at me before hoisting me off of my feet and depositing me into the passenger seat, running around the car to get behind the wheel, much to Alice's dismay.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about Aro's plans." He snarled at Alice before pulling back onto the road and breaking every speed limit as we raced towards Volterra.

"Good evening, please follow me." The guard droned, and for a moment I felt like I was in a bad horror movie. I could see by his scarlet eyes that he did not adhere to the Cullen's vegetarian diet and I wondered if Alice had a scarf buried in her purse so I could cover my pulsing jugular. It would only be a temptation to these bloodsuckers. Edward was gripping my hand as tightly as he could without it being painful and I could tell by his clenched jaw that he was nervous. Hell, I was petrified. He hadn't said anything after he professed his anger at Alice for keeping him in the dark about Aro's plans for me, whoever he was. I remember Edward telling me about the Volturi at my birthday party…before Jasper tried to make me a late night snack. They were leading me in to meet the leaders of the vampires. Maybe I should have worn a dress.

**EPOV**

Never in my 100 plus years have I been so nervous. If I could have been sweating, I have no doubt it would have been rolling off of me at this point. Alice had managed to keep her visions from me and now it was too late to turn back. When she first showed me what she had foreseen I was excited that things looked like they would be fine. We went to Italy and met with one of the underlings, making sure that he would tell Aro and his brothers that we had Bella and her knowledge under control. We left within an hour and returned back home to frolic through the woods like we lived in a deranged fairy tale. _I mean come on, who runs through the woods dressed in tan pants and a dress…really?_ I could forgive her for editing her visions…if it had not put Bella in mortal danger.

I could hear Bella's heart going crazy and she wassweating. She was still in the dark as to what was going to happen, and for that I was glad. If things ended badly, like if Aro decided he wanted her dead, it would be easier for her to not know it was coming. Unfortunately for me, I would know ahead of time if they were planning on killing her. Alice kept reassuring me through her thoughts that everything was going to be fine and I only needed to tell the truth and stay calm. _Yeah…stay calm as I walked my human girlfriend into the enemy lair…right._

The guard stopped in front of a pair of oversized wooden doors and I wanted to scoff. Did they really think this level of drama was necessary? It would take the flick of my finger to have the wood in pieces around me. A papery-thin voice summoned us from beyond the door and it swung open. The room was much like I had expected, especially after seeing Alice's unedited vision. Marble and dark wood, sky-high ceilings and heavy thrones on which three of the ugliest vampires I had ever seen were seated.

With one wave of Aro's hand, the room emptied and we were left with the three brothers who would decide our fate.

**A/N: Send me some love…see you soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So…here we are again. I have to apologize to you all…when I started writing this 15 months ago I had a very specific vision for the plot line. Then I went a year without updating and this entire story left me. I am struggling to finish this, but I WILL finish. It is hard for me to get a chapter done because I am just not connecting with the characters right now. I am in an AH mindset and my poor Vampward is suffering because of it. I am trying to read some more vamp stuff to get back in the mood, but as of right now it is not really working. I am not in love with this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it. The rest of this story will mostly be a smut fest and if that is not something you are interested in, please feel free to flounce. Next update… a week..maybe two. Who the hell knows?**

**BPOV**

Oh shit. I'm totally in trouble now. I think Edward was delusional thinking that there was any way that I would survive a trip to vampire central. The room was empty except for the three old as fuck vampires sitting on their thrones. It took all of my willpower not to laugh in their faces when I saw their long cloaks and…are those….are those cowboy boots? Yep, they're wearing cowboy boots. Talk about uncouth. I'm surprised Alice has not had a coronary yet.

The vamp in the middle got up from his chair and slowly approached us. I could tell by the way Edward moved to shield my body that this was not a good thing. Just for a moment I wished I was able to see the future or hear someone else's thoughts like Edward and Alice. Then I realized I would be able to see my death before it happened and threw those wishes right out the window.

"Isabella…so nice to finally meet you. My associate has told me all about you." He said as he reached for my hand, taking it before I could even give him permission. Edward growled low in his chest and I could feel Alice's grip on my other arm tighten to the point of pain. I could see confusion and then rage flit across his face as he leaned over my hand. Edward chuckled quietly before reaching and pulling my hand from his grip.

"You see Aro, you really had nothing to worry about." Edward laughed, yanking me into his arms. I could see movement from the corner of my eye and looked towards it, gasping loudly when I recognized the person standing in the shadows. Aro turned to see what I was looking at and sighed loudly, hanging his head.

"I told you to wait and I would call when I was ready for you. But can you listen to instructions? No, of course not." Aro reprimanded and I could see the little blonde haired vampire wringing her hands in front of her and scuffing her toe on the marble floor, looking very much like the scolded child she was. She was in front of him with one snap of his fingers and I could feel Edward stiffen as he looked at her.

"Do you have something to say to our visitors?" Aro said as he placed his hand on her back and pushed her forward.

"I'm sorry I messed with you and almost turned you into a zombie." She whsipered and I had to hold tightly to Edward or else I was afraid he might try to kill her.

"A zombie? You were messing with medications you had no right to be prescribing. You could have killed her!" He yelled, grinding his teeth together. I moved in front of him and pulled on his shirt until he looked down at me.

"I'm fine. You and Carlisle fixed it before any real damage was done. And even if I was really bad, you are going to change me anyway so it would not matter in the end." I said and could feel his entire body still.

"You are going to change me, right?" I whispered as I looked up into his pained eyes.

**EPOV**

How could she ask me that? Of course I wanted her with me forever, but the thought of putting her through three days of excruciating torture was not something I was ready to do. She was just getting back to her old self after 18 months of being a shell and I really was not looking forward to taking her from her father and everyone else she had grown close to during our time apart.

"Bella…this is a conversation best held when we are not in the den of the devil himself." I whispered, but of course, they heard me. The four vampires in the room exploded in laughter and I think I saw Aro wipe an imaginary tear from his eye.

"Oh Edward…so dramatic. You know I am not going to let you leave here with her still human. Either you bite her…or I do, and I am not sure I would have the strength to stop at just a bite." He smirked, snapping his teeth in her direction. Bella cringed against me and trembled. I turned to Alice and watched as her visions flashed in her mind, every one worse than the last. In one Aro did mange to change her instead of killing her, but when he saw what a magnificent vampire she would become, he kept her here for himself and had the guards kill us when we tried to rescue her. In another, I tried to change her but the second her sweet blood hit my tongue I ended up draining her. Watching the life fade from her eyes in Alice's vision was too much for me and I dropped to my knees, taking Bella with me. I crouched defensively over her and watched as the three rulers laughed.

"Oh my boy…you passed with flying colors. Get up and take her home." I stared at Aro as he spoke, wondering what the hell just happened. My expression must have said enough since he elaborated.

"When you left, we kept an eye on her. She had been spewing tales about vampires who sparkled in the sun and we needed to make sure that no one would believe her. That was where Jane came in. She was _supposed _to just make sure that everyone believed Bella was delusional, not drug her up to the point where she really was. I apologize for the misunderstanding and hope you can forgive me." Aro simpered with a pout. I could see Jane standing behind him and knew she was going to be a lot of trouble for going against Aro's orders and messing with Bella's medication the way she had.

"How did Jane get access to Bella if you don't mind me asking?" Alice said from behind me. I was still sitting sprawled on the floor with Bella beneath me, which must not have been comfortable for her being sandwiched between the marble floor and well…me.

"It seems that our little imposter has always wanted to be able to wear those white doctor's coats, so instead of playing dress-up with her brother, she stalked and killed a nurse who was posing as a physician and took her place. It did not take Bella's father long to trust her, what with her intoxicating beauty and scent." Aro answered and I felt Bella go rigid beneath me.

"You killed someone and messed with my life all because you wanted to play dress-up?" She growled and tried to push me off of her. I stood, taking her with me and tucked her against my side. She did _not_ want to tempt Aro's generosity.

"So what was this little test of yours?" I asked, slowly making my way towards the door. I really wanted to know what he was up to, but I was not willing to risk Bella's safety to do that.

"Well, Caius did not believe that you had mated with a human, and I had to say I did not truly believe it until I saw the way you reacted to my threats. Now go…change her when you wish but make sure that she keeps her mouth shut. I don't want to have to come to America and deal with any vampire sightings. Are we clear?" He said as he turned and walked back to his throne.

"Crystal." I yelled as I pulled Bella into my arms and sprinted from the room, not stopping until we were back to the car. Bella collapsed into the back seat, sleep claiming her instantly. Alice got behind the wheel while I stayed sitting sideways in the passenger seat so I could keep an eye on Bella.

"What the hell was that?" Alice whispered.

"I have no idea, but I am not going to second guess the whims of three eccentric vampires." I sighed as I reached for Bella's hand. I would change her, but not before I let experience all her human life had to offer.

**A/N: Yep…he is totally talking about sex. Next chapter we will get some sexy times as well as dealing with Charlie and Jake.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: So I sat down expecting to write some smut and this came pouring out. Hope you enjoy!**

**EPOV**

The trip back to Washington took forever. We could not find a flight out that would get us back after the sun had set and Alice's visions were going haywire, making her crazy. We finally made it back to Sea-Tac after being gone for nearly a week. When we landed Bella's seldom used cell phone blew up with calls from Charlie as well as Jacob Black. After leaving him in the woods, she had never contacted him again and then we left for Italy. I'm sure Charlie had called around after Bella disappeared and I would not doubt that Jacob was calling to see if Bella was still human. Little did he know, her time with a heartbeat was slowly counting down.

Bella sat in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes on the ride home while I drove. Alice was sitting in the passenger seat holding her head as she was bombarded with cloudy visions. At one point, our futures completely disappeared and Alice reached over and jerked the wheel to the right, causing us to bump onto the shoulder. Bella crashed into the door with the momentum of the car and yelped when her knee and head hit the unforgiving metal.

"What the hell Alice?" I yelled as I sprinted out the door and around to Bella's side. I could tell immediately that she had not broken the skin, but there would be a nasty bruise on both her temple and kneecap.

"We have to go." She whispered, suddenly standing next to me. I turned towards her, but she reached in front of me and grabbed Bella, slinging her onto her back and disappearing into the woods. I took off after them, faster than Alice anyway, but even more so with the added weight of Bella on her back. I stood in front of her and tried to get in her head but all I was met with was gray clouds and the ominous smell of Bella's blood…a scent I would not soon forget.

"What is going on?" I demanded, outmaneuvering her when she tried to run past me.

"I don't know! Don't you see, the only thing I can see for sure is that Bella ends up getting hurt and it will happen soon. We have to get back to the house." She cried, devastated. I searched the surrounding area for signs of life, but the woods were quiet.

"Fine." I sighed and moved out of the way so she could continue towards the house. During our quiet disagreement, Bella laid complacent on Alice's back, knowing it was better to just go along for the ride at this point.

We arrived home to find everyone there waiting for us. Alice had called when we landed, but they assumed we would be arriving in Carlisle's car. I spoke quickly to Emmett and he took off down the driveway to collect the Mercedes. Alice walked into the house and set Bella down on the couch. Carlisle was immediately at her side, checking her over. The bump on her head was substantial now, but he assured us it would be fine after some ice.

"What is going on?" Bella asked quietly as Esme placed a towel full of ice into her hand. She hissed as the cold hit her inflamed skin and I wondered if it would not just be easier to hold my hand against her instead. Before I could offer it we heard a car driving down the driveway. I could tell it was not Carlisle's Mercedes by the sound of the engine and was instantly alert. Leaving Bella on the couch, the six of us sprinted to the porch to watch Charlie's cruiser pull along side the garage. A growl started low in my chest as I watched his passenger get out of the car as well. Thankfully Carlisle walked down the stairs and took care of the niceties.

"Chief Swan what a surprise. What can I do for you?" He said, reaching his hand out to Charlie and ignoring the hulking boy behind him, much to my enjoyment.

"Cut the shit Carlisle. Is my daughter here or not?" Charlie growled and I could feel myself slowly moving towards the open door so I could protect Bella if I needed to. I was getting a nasty vibe from Jacob and his thoughts were completely unhinged. Alice tensed next to me and started shouting her thoughts at me.

_Grab her and go Edward. _

I had no idea what to do. If I ran as fast as I wanted to, Charlie would see and then we would have more questions to answer. As it was, Charlie was looking at me with suspicion and I could tell from the few thoughts I could pluck out of his head that Jacob had told him about what we were. How dare he violate the treaty that way? He looked up at me as a low growl erupted from my chest. He took a step forward, but Charlie put his arm out, warning him to stay back. I could feel the depth of Charlie's anger as he turned and looked at me.

"I want to see Bella…now." He said and I could hear her slow movements as she got up from the couch and made her way outside. Emmett pulled the Mercedes into the garage and was at Rose's side in an instant as Bella stopped on her other side. Charlie and Jacob both visibly relaxed when they saw her in all of her warm-blooded glory. Then they both turned accusing eyes to me when they saw her limp down the stairs with Rose's help, the ice pack still held tightly to her head.

"What did you do to her?" Jacob snarled, pushed past Charlie and getting right in my face. Bella gimped forward and put a restraining hand on Jacob's chest as she pushed her way between us.

"He did nothing Jake, it was an accident. I hit my head and knee on the car door. Jesus, give it a break. You act like he is going to break me or something." She laughed and turned to look at her father, all humor gone.

"I'm sorry Dad, but I needed to go and get some things taken care of. I know you are disappointed in me, but I'm an adult now and things need to change. I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you did for me while I was drugged up, but I'm fine now." She said, trailing her free hand up and down her body like Vanna White. I could see Jacob's eyes following the invisible path her hands made and could not stop from growling again. His eyes flew to mine and I could see the ripples run through his frame as he battled to keep himself in control.

"Do it." I taunted and slowly urged Bella behind me. Charlie must have realized something big was going to happen because he too stepped aside. Soon it was only me and Jacob standing in the driveway, Emmett had pulled Bella up onto the porch, much to her protests.

"Bring it on dog." I snarled and in the blink of an eye, clothes were shredded, limbs contorted, fur erupted and standing in front of me was a wolf. He circled me as Bella screamed and trashed in Emmett's arms. I knew Jake stood no chance against me, but in wolf form his thoughts were harder to track. Jacob shifted back on his hind legs, one paw in the air as he snarled at me, slobber dripping from his jaws as he charged forward. I shifted only seconds before he made contact, easily avoiding him and I turned and watched as his massive feet tried to get traction on the gravel driveway. I watched in horror as he careened into the porch.

Time stood still as I watched his enormous body slam into the wooden structure. I could hear Bella's screams the second I smelled her blood. I rushed forward, pushing Jasper to the side as he started towards the freshly spilt blood.

"Didn't you learn your lesson after last time?" I snarled, tossing him into the trees and watching as Alice's little frame dashed though the woods to get him. Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were all gone when I got to where Charlie was cradling Bella in his arms. Carlisle looked up at me, his eyes rife with pain and the answer I did not want whispering in his thoughts.

Bella's eyes met mine, the usually vibrant brown foggy with pain. The entire left side of her torso was smashed, the bones sticking through the skin and blood running like little rivers onto the wood below. Her chest was rising and falling sluggishly as she tried to breathe through the pain. I knelt down next to her as a tear overflowed and ran down her cheek.

"Oh baby." I whimpered as I tried to pull her from Charlie's arms. He looked up at me, his hands holding her tight, and when he saw my face, I knew he understood. She was dying.

**A/N: Ummm… shit. Yeah I am not sure where this is going. Bella is dying and I am not sure Charlie will let Edward change her. We shall see won't we? Update…next week…week after? Who the hell knows!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello! I'll shut up so you can see what happens…**

**EPOV**

"Bella, please…stay with me." I begged as I watched her eyes flutter under her lids. Her breathing was slower now, as if the pain was making it harder to fill her lungs. Charlie held her close to his chest, tears falling down his cheeks as he watched his only child take her last breaths.

"Charlie…please. I can save her, she can still live. Let me have her." Carlisle begged, holding his hands out for her, but Charlie shook his head franticly.

"No! She'll end up like you…killing people. I can't do that to her." He growled, his fingers tightening on her arms.

"Charlie…you can't let her die. I hate their kind more than you know, but you can't let her die. Let them save her." Jacob said as he ran onto the porch, bare assed naked. I wanted to wrap my fingers around his throat and watch as the color bled from his cheeks, but instead I was watching that happen to the woman I loved.

"Charlie…please." I whimpered as I heard her heart start an uneven rhythm, one that would soon stop forever.

"No." He whispered as he bent down and kissed her on her forehead and said his goodbyes.

One moment she was lying in his arms, and the next she was gone and Charlie's hands were empty. I had been so preoccupied with listening to Bella's heart that I had not paid any attention to the thoughts of my family, and as such, I had no idea what just happened. I looked around the porch, taking stock of who was present and who was not. Charlie was still staring down at his empty arms, flabbergasted.

Jacob

Esme

Carlisle

Emmett

Jasper

Alice

Rose….. Where the hell was Rose?

My eyes flew to Alice, and she nodded her head slightly before projecting her latest vision to me. My body relaxed as if I were a deflating balloon and I stood up and walked down the stairs.

"What the hell happened? Where is my daughter's body?" Charlie asked, his voice rough with unshed tears.

"Your daughter will be fine. It seems my sister, who has been against Bella joining our family for as long as I can remember, took things into her own hands. Bella will be one of us." Alice said quietly as she moved to sit next to Charlie.

"I did not want this." He whispered as he clenched his blood-stained hands together.

"She will be alive…well, sort of. And we don't kill people if we can help it. I'm not sure what that mutt Jacob told you about our kind, but we survive on the blood of animals, not humans. Bella will struggle with the temptation for a while, but eventually she will be able to interact with humans, just as we do." Emmett said as he moved towards Charlie, extending his hand and pulling the man to his feet. Some of Bella's blood transferred to Emmett's hands and I growled low in my chest as he lifted his fingers towards his mouth.

"Would you like me licking your wife's bodily fluids from my fingers?" I snarled, and Emmett had the good graces to look chagrined as he wiped his red-tinged fingers on his pants.

"Sorry bro…shit smelled amazing." He said with a lopsided smile, his dimples flashing, making it difficult to stay mad at him.

"What happens now?" Charlie asked as he walked slowly off of the ruined porch and towards his patrol car.

"Now…we wait until Rose brings her back." I said as I looked out into the forest and prayed that my sister took good care of my girl.

**BPOV**

I felt like that Katy Perry song, 'Hot and Cold,' because that was exactly what I was feeling right now. First, I was flaming hot as if tongues of fire had somehow managed to get inside my muscles and bones and were burning me away from within. Then, the freezing cold would chill me till I was sure I would shatter into a million pieces. I could hear a mumbling sound the entire time I was freezing and burning, the voice helping to sooth my frazzled mind.

The last thing I could remember before I was thrust into this torture was watching as Jake, in wolf form, came careening towards the porch. I had locked eyes with Edward as I realized that this was it, this was how I would die. I would not be immortal with my love; I would die a painful death in a horrible accident. The pain was excruciating as Jacob's heavy body rolled over me. I could barely hear Charlie and Carlisle arguing and I wished I could have opened my mouth and tell my father what I wanted, but alas my words were locked inside my mind and I could only listen as they fought. Then, suddenly I was flying, surrounded by the scent of lavender and lime, I was held gently against a solid mass before I was laid down on the hard ground. Flashes of pain at my wrists, throat and ankles had me writhing in agony, and that leads me to where I am now. In limbo, waiting for the pain to go away so I could emerge from the embers of my former life, like the Phoenix rising from the flames.

"Bella, just a few more hours." I could hear Rose whisper and wished I could speak thorough the agony to reassure her. I knew she had never changed anyone before, had never even tasted human blood in all her years. I felt honored that she cared so much for me that she went against everything she had even known to save me.

The pain tapered off to a dull roar and I finally felt like I had some control over my limbs. My hand searched for hers and I sighed in relief when she took it, squeezing me tightly. My heart beat painfully in my chest as it struggled to push the last of my blood through my body, Rose's venom taking its place. I could smell lavender and lime emanating from my pores and wondered if I would always smell like her since she was my maker, or if I might develop a scent of my own. Edward, Esme, Emmett and Rose all smelled different from Carlisle, so I was holding out hope that one day I might have my own signature scent.

One last thump of my heart and then all was still. It was as if everything stopped, the pain, the heat, the cold…everything was gone. I could hear my shallow breaths but not Rose's and I sat up suddenly, my head swimming with the motion and opened my eyes, searching for her. She sat next to me on the hard ground, her hair, which was usually impeccable coiffed, was a mess of sticks and dirt. Her nails were caked with mud and what I assumed was my dried blood and her once yellow dress was now a dusty brown. She had never looked more beautiful to me.

"Rose." I whispered, feeling a sting of tears that would never come.

"I'm so glad you are ok. I was so worried I had done something wrong when it took so long." She sighed as she pulled my hand into her lap. I gazed over at her, amazed at the things my human eyes had missed in reference to her beauty.

"You were out of it for nearly a week." She said and I pulled back in shock.

"Isn't it supposed to take like three days?" I asked and she nodded before turning my hand over in her lap.

"I thought I did something wrong, and there was no one here to help." She said and I could not help but reach forward and pull her into my arms.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I'm so sorry I treated you the way I did before Edward made us leave. You are so good for him, and he for you. I should have seen that and ignored my selfish jealousy. I wanted you to live for me, live the life I was denied. But when I saw you lying there, dying, I knew I had to save you. Your father is going to be so pissed." She said with a laugh and I pulled away, smoothing her hair back from her face.

"Yeah he is, but who could be mad at you for long." I joked, and tried to stand, feeling like a newborn deer on wobbly legs. Rose steadied me with her hands until I felt sure on my feet and then we started through the woods.

"How far away are we?" I asked as I looked around, not recognizing any of the plants or trees around us.

"Well, I sort of went a bit overboard. We're in Alaska." She said and I choked out a laugh.

"You ran me to Alaska?" She nodded shyly and I leaned my head on her shoulder to show her there were no hard feelings.

"Well, I guess we have a lot of animals to choose from. So, sister mine, will you show me how to hunt?"

**A/N: Soooo…what did ya think? Rose was the savior! You can thank my bud Dalloway5906 who has a huge girl-crush on Rose and keeps trying to get me to like her. Still not convinced, but I am getting better. At least she is not a raging bitch in this story like she was in Darkness and Light!**

**See ya in a week? Two? And I promise…smut is a-comin'!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: An update? Amazing right. Remember that smut I was talking about...yeah...its here. **

**Enjoy!**

"Oh my God, that was the most ridiculous thing I have ever witnessed. My eyes…" Rosalie cried dramatically as I pushed the deer carcass off my legs and stood up. She laughed as she saw the state of my clothing and I flipped her off as I walked towards the nearby stream.

"I mean…it looked like you were trying to dance with it or something. You should be grateful that I was with you and not Edward, because you know a vampire's memory is flawless right? I would hate for him to have to remember that sight for eternity. Now I just have to make sure I don't think about it while he is around." Rose giggled as I stepped into the freezing water and sat down, watching as the blood washed away. So now I was clean, but that did not help the state of my clothes.

"You look…you look like you were attacked with hedge clippers or something." She laughed and collapsed in a heap on the ground, her fist punching the dirt as she tried to catch her unnecessary breath.

"Shut it bitch." I snarled as I tried to rearrange the tattered remains of my outfit. As if Jake had not cause enough damage when he rolled over on me, those deer had really sharp hooves.

"Ahh..ahahah." She cried as she rolled around on the hard ground, holding her stomach. One kick…one kick was all it would take to shut her up. I pulled my leg back, ready for the strike when my instincts warned me that there was someone approaching. Turning from Rose's giggle-fest, I looked towards the sound of twigs snapping.

There, between two trees was the most magnificent creature I had ever seen. Tall and lean with wild hair and eyes so golden and perfect it made venom flood my mouth. As if knowing perfection was in its presence, the sunlight fell through the trees, displaying him in all his sparkly glory.

"Oh no…here it comes." Rose whispered behind me but I was too far gone to even try to understand what she was talking about. In an instant I was sprinting towards him. He did not move except for the breathtaking smile that spread across his face. With my new ability to concentrate on more than one thing at a time, I faintly heard Rose take off running in the other direction. Good thing to because I was not too worried about modestly right now.

I threw myself at him, hands greedy and fingers searching. I tore his shirt from his body as my feet pushed his pants down his legs. I could hear him speaking but in my rush for him I was not paying attention. It was not until my hand started to find its way into his boxer briefs that he stopped me.

"BELLA!" He yelled and I looked up at him, awed at his beauty this close up.

"Yes?" I whispered, trying to pull my hands from his grasp but hesitant to hurt him with my newborn strength.

"Please…I have waited 109 years for this moment…I really don't want to rush it." He said as he gently released my hand and ran his fingers through my hair. I took a deep breath and tried to relax, the manic need to have him inside me easing.

"Now, do you think you can wait until we get back to the cabin?" He smirked as he bent over and retrieved the remnants of his clothing. I watched as his muscled flexed and moved as he shoved his feet into the tattered pants. His important parts were covered, but not much else. His shirt was a total loss. I smiled apologetically as he tossed it in a ball and held it in his hand. He extended his other hand towards me and I took it happily.

"It is just a short run to the Denali's cabin. They left for a few hours to give us some privacy." He said, talking loud enough to be heard over the whipping wind as we took off running, although with my perfect vampire hearing, he could have spoke in a whisper and I would have heard it.

"A few hours? I really don't think that will be enough time." I smiled up at him as he steered us around trees and over boulders. The air was cool and clean and although the burn in my throat was annoying, I did not find it to be too distracting. Not distracting enough to keep me from ogling Edward at every chance.

We did not stop as we ran up the steps and burst through the door, walking into a large living room. The fireplace was lit and the furniture was pushed towards the walls, as if expecting we needed the room to move. Edward released my hand and moved so he stood a few feet away. He tossed his ruined shirt away and ripped his pants from his body. I did the same with my torn clothes, leaving me in just my white cotton panties. We stood staring at each other as the tension in the room grew. I could feel my stomach growling like I was hungry, but this hunger could not be satiated with food. I needed Edward to fill this ache.

In a flash Edward was in front of me, his skin now the same texture and temperature as my own as he pressed his bare chest to mine. His eyes flashed black as my nipples hardened. My head tipped back when I felt Edward tremble against me. His hands splayed over my back as he tugged me even closer, as if he were trying to merge us together. Soon enough I thought…soon enough.

**EPOV**

No words. I've lived for more than a century, seen all of the Wonders of the World and the sight of my mate in front of me, bare for me…left me speechless.

I held her against me, praying that I would have the patience to treat her the way she deserved. As much as my inner 17 year old boy was begging to have me throw her down on the floor and mount her like a rabid beast, the 109 year old vampire wanted to be able to physically show his mate the depth of his feelings.

Fuck it…I could show her my feelings later.

I stepped back and held her at arms length, my hands firm on her shoulders. Her eyes were locked on the muscles of my chest and I flexed my pecs, making her eyes go wide. I laughed under my breath, my own eyes widening when she smirked up at me. I forgot she could hear me now, as before her change I could laugh and speak under my breath without her being the wiser. Shit.

My fingers trailed down her arms and on to her hips, the delicate fabric of her panties giving way under the pressure of my nails. She gasped as I pulled the material from her body, my eyes staying on hers as I got rid of my boxer briefs as well. We stood before one another, completely bare. I knew this was it, the last of our walls were down. She had my heart and my soul…and now my body.

I took her hand and pulled her towards the fireplace, kneeling down in front of her and watching as her red eyes went flat black seeing me at her feet. I ran my fingers up her legs, marveling at how her skin gave with the firm pressure. I could touch her…I could touch her and not hurt her. The realization would have brought me to tears if it were possible.

Bella was panting as my hands got closer to where she was hot and wet. I could smell her arousal and it was easy to see the fluid leaking onto her inner thighs. The beast inside me roared and I was unable to stop as I leaned forward and ran my tongue through the moisture. Her legs gave out as I buried my face in her pussy, the smell and taste of her driving me insane. I held her to me as I encouraged her to ride my face.

"Oh Edward…oh my god." She moaned as I shoved my tongue as far as I could, feeling her pulse around me. I lapped at her…I could not get enough. Her body shook as her muscled clamped down on me, her back arching as she came. I worried for a minute when she stopped breathing, but remembered that air was unnecessary to her now. I relaxed my grip on her and her body slid down to the floor, boneless. She smiled at me as I stretched out next to her, my hand sliding up and down her smooth belly.

"Holy shit that was unbelievable." She whispered as she grabbed my hand and pressed it against her lips. She pushed against my shoulder and I rolled to my back, Bella following after me. She settled her thighs on either side of my hips and did a little shimmy that had my eyes rolling back in my head. She giggled as she did it again and my hands came up to stop her before I embarrassed myself. I looked up at her and saw the one person in the entire world who knew me, inside and out. The person I would die for and die without. My life, my love, my mate.

Bella shifted again and suddenly the tip of my cock was poised at her entrance, ready for us to truly become one. Her eyes were wide as she slowly lowered herself down, her back arching as I broke through her barrier and she slid down until our bodies were flush.

"You okay?" I managed to grunt out as she moved above me. My body was urging me to thrust up into her, make her mine, but I wanted to make sure she was all right first. She looked down at me, even more beautiful if that was possible.

"Oh, I am more than okay." She hummed before she raised her body up and dropped back down on me, driving my shaft into her soft heat. She found a rhythm that suited us both and my fingers dug into her flesh as she rode me. She leaned down and latched her teeth onto my shoulder, her venom stinging slightly but I welcomed the pain. I pulled her face to mine, our teeth clashing as we kissed desperately.

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me." I chanted as she moved her hips in circles before sliding up and down again. I reached down and pressed my thumb against her clit, finally thankful for all of those years I had to listen to people's thoughts. At least I knew exactly how to make my girl…

"God…yes Edward." Cum. Yep, I made Bella cum. On my cock. And it was great.

I followed with my own shout to the good Lord and held her as she collapsed against me. We were both breathing hard and I swear I could still feel the phantom beating of her heart in her chest. My arms wrapped around her, holding her to me and keeping my still hard cock inside her. She nuzzled her nose against my temple and kissed her way from my cheek to my mouth, thrusting her tongue inside.

"So this is what all the talk was about." She hummed as she pulled away…well as far away as I would let her. She looked down at me; her hair falling into her face and her eyes full of so much love it floored me.

"I love you." I whispered and felt my long dead heart flutter in my chest when she smiled a shy smile back at me and answered the same. I held her in my arms and realized that there was no better place on earth than wrapped up with my girl.

"When can we do that again?" She breathed as she rolled us over.

Oh yeah…no better place on earth.

**A/N: Soooo... I am thinking 2 more chapters left. Leave me some love and let me know if anyone is even reading this anymore. (Except you Melanie...I know you are...you are the reason I continued this!)**


	16. Chapter 16

**O…M…G. An update…I know right…I am fail…so very fail. You can all thank fenrirchick for sending me a PM and reminding me I was actually still supposed to be working on this story.**

**Only an epi left and I SWEAR it will post before the end of the year…I promise. Pinky swear…**

**Who wants more smut?**

"We really need to go back so you can call Charlie and Jake and let them know you're okay." He growled as I ran my tongue over the slit at the top of his cock. We had been going at it for days and we still could not get enough of each other. His body was all I could see. We did manage to stop for a few hours to hunt the day before but it just led to some hot, naked, blood-covered sex.

"Fuck 'em." I whispered as I sat up and straddled his hips, taking him inside of me. His hands were so tight it almost hurt as he rocked me back and forth over him. I put my palms on his thighs and leaned back so he had a great view of his cock disappearing into me and coming back out all covered in my wetness.

"No Bella…fuck me." He moaned as I went faster and faster. I had mastered my newborn strength but the speed I still had a problem with. Edward didn't seem to mind as I rode him like a stallion.

"Cuming…cuming…cuming!" I cried as I collapsed down onto his chest and sunk my teeth into his throat.

"Bella!" He yelled as he pushed my hips down and thrust as far as possible and came.

The forest was silent as we relaxed in each other's arms. This was all I had ever wanted back before he left. I wanted us together…us against the world. And now maybe, we could actually have that.

"You ready to go? Jake is desperate to apologize." Edward sighed as he rolled out from under me and extended his hand. I took it with a smile and followed him down to the freezing cold lake to…freshen up. After getting into some clothes that Alice had been nice enough to foresee us needing, we headed back to Washington. We had stayed in Alaska to…get reacquainted but now it was time to go back to the real world. Or at least as real a world can be with vampires and werewolves.

*()*()*

"He's really nervous. Alice says he keeps pacing the floor. Pretty soon Esme is going to have to get them redone because he wore a hole in them." Edward laughed after stuffing his cell phone back in his pocket. He had called to make sure Charlie wasn't there yet. We had passed a few hunters on the way down and I didn't have a problem with bloodlust, but being in a room with a living breathing blood machine was a little different. Carlisle suggested that we meet outside so that Charlie's scent would be a little diluted.

"Poor Jake. I mean…it was all his fault and he did almost kill me, but he really did us a favor. You know it would have taken you forever to actually get up the balls to change me. And although Rose is my maker, it did work out for the best." I smiled as I wrapped my arm through his. He glared down at me, like he did every time I mentioned Rose being my creator. He hated that. He wanted it to be his venom running through my veins instead of Rose's. He did manage to cover up Rose's bite marks with some of his own and boy those were some fun times.

"Bella!" Emmett called as we broke through the trees and stood at the edge of the driveway. The porch had been all rebuilt in the short time I was gone and it looked as good as new. Emmett pulled me out of Edward's grasp and spun me around, laughing when I wobbled a bit when he set me back on my feet. "Still completely uncoordinated, huh?"

"Still an insufferable douche bag huh?" I smirked as he gave Edward a high five.

"My girl told me she could hear you rocking Bella's world all the way in Vancouver."

"Well…I guess I did my job then." Edward laughed as he pulled Rose into his arms and pressed a kiss to her temple. I knew he had a new bond with his sister, since she saved my life and everything.

"Bella!"

We turned and watched as Jake walked across the driveway and hesitated about ten feet away. He wouldn't make eye contact with either me or Edward and I really hated the way he stood apart from everyone. It was an accident. A really shitty accident, but an accident none the less.

"Hey Jake." I whispered as I walked over towards him. I opened my arms and he fell to his knees at my feet.

"I'm so sorry." He whimpered as he wrapped his enormous arms around my hips. I patted him on the head and looked over my shoulder to see if Edward was coming to help extract me from this giant werewolf embrace. From the smile on his face I knew I was getting no help from him.

"Its fine Jake, all is forgiven. Now please…let me go." He stood up and brushed the tears off his cheeks as Charlie's cruiser pulled down the drive.

Okay…

Showtime.

"Hey Bella." He called cautiously as he got out of the car and just stood there. I could tell he was nervous. He _did_ pretty much decide to just let me die instead of being like the Cullens.

"Hey Dad." I yelled as I waved at him. He pushed away from the car and walked towards me. Edward and Emmett came up behind me to restrain me if necessary but so far…so good.

"You look…great." He said, gesturing to my awesome new bod thanks to the wonders of vampire venom.

"Yeah, better than dead huh?" I said and instantly regretted it when his face fell.

"Listen Bella, about that, I'm really sorry. I was scared and worried and I made a mistake. I should have let them change you right then and there. I'm sorry." He said as he rubbed his fingers over his mustache.

Wow…

Didn't see that coming.

"This is usually when you accept the apology Bella." Edward whispered in my ear and I elbowed him in the guts, laughing under my breath when all the air left his lungs in a rush.

"Thanks Dad, that means a lot. I hope we can still you know…hang out and stuff." I said and Charlie stepped closer, reaching for me. I took a deep breath and walked into his arms. As I buried my face in his neck and let him hold me, I finally was able to let it all go. He thought he was doing right by me, as any father wants for his child. At least I managed to have some help getting to my happily ever after.

I pulled away from Charlie and stepped backwards into Edward's chest.

Here in his arms was my home.

We were right.

And we finally were ready to start our future together.

**An epi coming soon…**

**Love ya!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Yeah, yeah…I suck…I know.**

"Do you remember the first time you brought me here?" She asked as she laid her head on my stomach and we looked up at the sky.

"I do. I was so nervous. I thought for sure you would run away screaming when I told you the truth. And now look at us." I said, unable to keep the awe out of my voice. But I was completely and utterly in awe of what had become of us.

"If you had told me that one day we would be laying her and we would _both_ be sparkling, I would have laughed in your face." She giggled as she rolled over and propped her chin on my chest, her eyes locked on mine. She was breathtaking and every day I struggled to believe that she was mine.

"And yet here we are." I whispered as I reached up to push her hair off her shoulder so I could see Rose's bite mark in her flesh. I hated that it was Rose that had the courage and strength to go against what Charlie had wanted, but I could never regret what she had done. She had given me my girl, my mate, for eternity.

"Here we are…and what are we doing here?" She asked, suspicious. But I couldn't blame her; I had been sneaking around behind her back for a while now.

"We are here…to get married." I said as I grabbed her hand and quickly got to my feet. I pulled her up with me and held her close as I whistled loudly. She gasped as every member of my family suddenly emerged from the trees. Rose carried three large bouquets of flowers and Alice had a garment bag slung over her shoulder. But it wasn't until Jake came walking out with Charlie beside him that Bella really broke down. She spun around and looked up at me.

"You did this? You planned all this?" She cried and I held her tight.

"I did. I couldn't think of a better place to marry you than where our story first started." I admitted and that only made her sob louder. "Bella…we don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Oh no Edward…it's perfect. It's just so….so…." She mumbled, pulling away so she could look up at me and Rose and Alice took pity on me and gently escorted her into the trees so she could get dressed.

Charlie handed me a bag with my own clothes and patted me on the back with a rare smile.

"You did good son." I looked over at my soon to be father-in-law and smirked.

"I guess I did."

*()*()*

"I can't believe Emmett married us!" Bella squealed as I spun her around on the makeshift dance floor. Alice had the foresight to bring an iPod and speakers so the soft sounds of Michael Buble were echoing through the trees. Rose and Emmett were wrapped around each other, making embarrassing noises as they kissed while Alice and Jasper were showing off their swing dancing skills. Carlisle and Esme stood chatting with Charlie and I caught them glancing over to us more than once. Everyone was ecstatic that things had worked out for us.

"So where are you taking me on our honeymoon?" She asked as she placed a gentle kiss on my throat. I felt myself get uncomfortably hard against her belly and she laughed.

"I thought we could go to South America. Esme and Carlisle have an island down there we can borrow for a few weeks." I suggested but she crinkled her nose adorably and shook her head.

"No…I don't want to have sand everywhere. What if we go up to Alaska and you can show me how to take down a polar bear?" She asked excitedly and it was my turn to shake my head.

"Bella…they really don't taste very good. What about Europe? We didn't really get a chance to explore while we were over there dealing with Jane. That might be fun…Paris at midnight, London, well we could do London during the day since it is always so damn rainy there. Ireland and Scotland, it might be fun." I whispered, feeling the slow tremor run through her as I rubbed my erection against her and breathed into her ear. And then the music was overpowered by the sound of Jake's faux gagging and retching.

"Please…get a fucking room!" He yelled, making everyone laugh. I narrowed my eyes at him, but I could tell that he was only kidding. He was relieved that everything had worked out for us, especially after Bella nearly died because of him.

Alice pulled herself away from Jasper and yanked Bella from my arms.

"Europe it is! Your bags are already packed and loaded in the Volvo and the tickets are in the glove compartment. You are going to have SO much fun!" She giggled as she spun Bella around and I could only laugh at her exuberance. I knew she was still upset that she hadn't foreseen what would happen to Bella after I left her, but it wasn't her fault. If we hadn't had to walk through hell…we wouldn't be in heaven right now.

And as Bella came back to me, wrapping herself around me as our family surrounded us to bid their farewells; I realized that was exactly what this was…

Heaven.

**So…I hate that I left this for so long. I hate that it seemed rushed at the end but it was…these characters left me…and I had to just kinda wing it to get this finished. So I apologize if it feels off or wrong but at least it is done.**

**Thanks to everyone who pushed me to get this done…and that GOD it is finally done!**


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